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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22820068">Enchanted</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/watchmegetobsessed/pseuds/watchmegetobsessed'>watchmegetobsessed</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Girls (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Behind the Scenes, Broadway, Enchanted - Freeform, F/M, Giselle - Freeform, Mutual Pining, Rehearsals, robert philip - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 12:07:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>22,440</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22820068</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/watchmegetobsessed/pseuds/watchmegetobsessed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>You are casted as Giselle in the Broadway adaptation of Enchanted with Adam as Robert.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Adam Sackler/Original Character(s), Adam Sackler/Original Female Character(s), Adam Sackler/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>61</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The man</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>so im back with another sackler fic, i have no idea where this is going to head, but i really liked the concept so i just went for it. we'll see if it'll turn out any good!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>If you had to imagine what a surgeon is feeling right before a super important operation, you’d compare the feeling to the one you always get at auditions without hesitation. The nerves are stretching to the maximum, some can’t even take it, some have odd coping mechanism, the air is thick with tension and rivalry and all eyes are looking for weak points in others. It’s a mixture of feelings that crawls up on your spine every time you wait for your name to be called and find out whether or not you were good enough to make the cut.</p><p>This time is no different as you sit in a now emptied out room that was once full of ambitious girls, all of them longing after the exact same thing, a role that would change their lives, but now it’s just the five of you. You see the similarities between yourself and the girls, you are all slim figured and judging from what you’ve seen all of you have some kind of dancer background, especially number three who is eyeing you now with a hard stare, probably deep in her thoughts what would make you better than her while you do the same. You would swear your life she used to be a ballet dancer, it’s radiating from the way she sits and walks, you can just tell it.</p><p>It’s way past ten pm and all of you have been here for the whole day, fighting your way through three rounds of audition, each of them testing something different. Singing, dancing and acting, the three compulsory things that need to be perfected if someone wants the role of Giselle, especially since the shoes you’d be putting on with this role are pretty high-end, given the fact that the first and only person to bring life to the character was Amy Adams and she made quite the impression on millions of people all around the world on the big screen when the movie came out.</p><p>Looking down at your hands you notice how they are shaking once again and you quickly hide them between your thighs not to show weakness. You can’t let them see how nerve-wrecking this is for you, that’s just not professional, not what you want to project to the world.</p><p>Then the door to the auditorium where you had to perform three times today opens and all five of you rise to your feet when the four people who have been judging you all day appear with the piece of paper that contains the results you’ve been waiting all week to know.</p><p>“Thank you for your patience, it’s been a very hard decision to make,” Petra, the production assistant speaks up with a warm smile as she looks around. “We wanted to make sure the best person will stand on the stage of Broadway when the curtains open very soon and we were convinced that all of you would be worthy of the role of Giselle.”</p><p>You catch a few confused and anxious looks around, and you can almost hear the questions popping up in the minds: so how did they decide?</p><p>“But we’ve made a decision, and we would like to thank to everyone for the hard work you put into today.”</p><p>Your heart is up in your throat, each beat feels like it pushes the top of your head as you stare at the paper, visioning your name written on it as the chosen one. Petra exchanges a knowing look with the three men, the choreographer Matt, the director Trevor and Lee, the dramaturge before she turns back to us and the final name rolls down her tongue, leaving those perfectly red lips that never stopped smiling all day.</p><p>“Y/N, we would like to welcome you to the production of <em>Enchanted</em> on Broadway.”</p><p>You gasp and you freeze as your own name rings in your ears and envious stares turn to you from all around the room while you are just standing there, completely shocked that you actually got the part, as if you haven’t been telling yourself it’s going to happen in the past weeks.</p><p>“Thank you for everyone, we hope to see you maybe at another audition, because you all have great potential. Y/N, please stay for a little longer so we can discuss the further steps.</p><p>You’re going on Broadway, it is finally happening. You’ll be standing on the stage you’ve been dreaming of since you were a little girl, the applause will be yours (partly) every night before the curtains close. You can’t stop thinking about it all through the next about thirty minutes as you discuss every crucial information with Petra, she hands you a schedule and makes you sign some paperwork that already has your name on them. You try to remember everything and when you give them every contact info that’s needed you finally head home.</p><p>You can’t help but feel silly when arriving back to your small apartment you put on the movie and watch as Amy Adams sings warmly on the screen with a skeptical Patrick Dempsey and as you hum to the music already knowing most of the songs you wonder who will be your Robert Philip. Petra said the auditions will end this week and you’ll have a table reading on Monday where you’ll be able to meet all the people who will basically be your family for the upcoming months during the rehearsals and once the show opens.</p><p>It’s past one am when you finally turn your laptop off putting it away and as you creep your way to your window the nightlights of the city light up your face. Climbing out to the fire escape you listen to the chaotic sounds of the city that never sleeps, watching a group of friends cross the street, spraying champagne to the asphalt, laughing their way into the night. Normally you would find them annoying, but not tonight. You wish them a great night as you dream about a glass of the sparkly beverage in your hand, drinking to your big achievement. Your eyes travel up to the gloomy sky and you let out a wondering sigh, the thought of change embracing your hopes and dreams.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, big smile!”</p><p>You flash your widest smile into the camera Lora is holding up in front of you, holding the coffee she just bought you in your hands.</p><p>“Amazing, I feel like a mother who is taking her daughter to the school for the first time,” she jokes putting her phone away as the two of you start walking. “I’m so proud of you!”</p><p>“Thanks. I’m really excited,” you smile shyly. First day nerves are bringing the best out of you, it’s been a hard task to get some sleep last night and you only managed to rest for a couple of hours, but the excitement is definitely keeping you awake. Today is your first official day at a Broadway production in a leading role, this is a day you will never forget probably.</p><p>“You’ll be amazing and when you are finally famous, we can sell your stuff on ebay and get rich!” she cheers making you laugh. She always sees the most important things in situations.</p><p>“Great plan.” Checking the time you see that you really should get going if you don’t want to be late for the reading. “I’ll see you tonight?” you ask her stopping at the entrance of the subway.</p><p>“Sure, I’ll swing by around nine,” she nods giving you a quick hug. “Break a leg!” she calls after you as you wave while running down the stairs.</p><p>You’re not unfamiliar with the world of theater, but every theater is different and you can never know what to expect behind the scenes. It’s a whole new world on the other side of the curtains and as you walk into the building you feel like a wandering child, soaking in every little detail you see, even though it’s not even that extra like you had imagined.</p><p>Arriving to the meeting room you are fifteen minutes early, leaving only just a few people there, the long table with chairs all around it, name cards at each seat is set with water bottles and fresh fruits in bowls, a copy of the script is neatly placed at each seat.</p><p>“Y/N! Hi! How are you?” Petra welcomes you rushing over to you with that warm smile of hers, wearing an orange colored flowy dress that goes great with her dark brown locks.</p><p>“A little nervous but excited,” you chuckle.</p><p>“Don’t be nervous, we are all family now here. Come on, let me introduce you around.”</p><p>You meet some of the dancers and background actors, Trevor who you have already met at the audition and Petra also introduces you to the Misha, the costume designer who even shows you some of her sketches for the dresses you’ll be wearing on stage and they all look stunning, like a piece of art each.</p><p>You find your name at the table and put your coat to the back of the chair, running your fingers over the cover of the script with a small smile playing on your lips and pulling your phone out you shoot a quick photo of the script and your name tag before checking the names around you.</p><p>Right next to you is the one you’ve been most curious about, the name Robert Philip written in small under the name of the real person behind the character: Adam Sackler.</p><p>“I think you two will get along well,” Petra smiles at you from the other side of the table, seeing you eye the name tag. “He is—oh, he is here!” she declares, head turning to the door and she is already rushing to welcome the tall man who just walked in.</p><p>Adam Sackler is quite a man at first sight. His tall figure, broad shoulders and hair dark as the night make him appear a little dour and stern, but the smile he gives to Petra upon seeing her definitely gives his features a soft touch of warmth. He wraps an arm around her shoulders as they exchange a few words you can’t hear from this far, and you seem to be lost in the appearance of the man you’ll fall for on the stage, but you are brought back to reality when his eyes lock with yours and you notice Petra is turned to you as well. You clear your throat, feeling like a kid that’s been caught doing something naughty when you were just looking at him.</p><p>The two of them head in your way and you get yourself ready to meet the man, feeling his eyes intensely burning down at you the whole time he strides over to his seat next to you, Petra walking right beside him.</p><p>“Y/N, this is Adam. Adam, meet your Giselle, Y/N,” she smiles and when your eyes meet his again you feel his gaze in your guts. He is the definition of intimidating, expressions unreadable paired with a physique that can’t stay unrecognized.</p><p>A large hand extends in front of you, and as your palm touches his, you can’t help but notice the size difference.</p><p>“Hi, it’s nice to meet you,” he beams, a tiny smile playing on his full lips, the lips you’ll be kissing soon.</p><p><em>Damn it, get your shit together!</em> You tell yourself as you nod at him in a friendly manner.</p><p>“You too, Adam.”</p><p>Your hopes of Petra easing the nerves you are feeling from this first meeting quickly disappear when more and more people start to arrive and she leaves the two of you alone.</p><p>As your hands let go of each other you still feel the warm touch of his hand linger on your skin, both of you turning to your seats.</p><p>“So, have been on Broadway before?” he asks, glancing at your shortly as the two of you sit and he starts flipping through the script.</p><p>“No, I’m totally a newcomer. Have you been?”</p><p>“Yeah, just once a while back.”</p><p>“Any advice to be taken?” you smile at him laying your palms out on the table. He thinks to himself for a moment before turning to you.</p><p>“Leave reality behind,” he answers with a smile that seems to be hiding tens of feelings and thoughts, maybe a few stories that you are now dying to hear. Adam Sackler is definitely the person you feel drawn to in many ways and as you turn your attention towards the script, aimlessly flipping through the pages you wonder how many sides of him you will get to know by the time the lights go up on the stage for the first time.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>The reading wouldn’t take more than about two hours at most, but with so many people and even more jokes to make it’s hard to stick to the schedule. There is always just something to add, change, comment on and this is what brings the whole team together. By the time the last words of the last page are said out loud, you feel like part of the bigger whole and the nervousness long gone, replaced by true excitement and anticipation to see what’s next.</p><p>“Thank you everyone, I think we can all agree this show is going to be magical,” Trevor, the director speaks up when the reading is over and everyone nods in agreement. “First rehearsals on the stage are expected to start in two weeks, I would like to kindly ask everyone to respect the schedule and the time of others. A list of contacts will be emailed to everyone by the end of the day,” he notes before discharging everyone.</p><p>You’re soon pulled into a discussion with Clyde, aka Prince Edward and Misha, talking about preferences for the costumes in the field of comfort and practicality, but you find yourself scanning the room for one particular tall figure.</p><p>Adam is standing a couple of feet away from you, talking to a blonde woman who has her hands on the shoulders of Janelle, the girl who’ll be playing Adam’s stage daughter, an adorable little sunshine from what you’ve seen from her in the past few hours, very focused and hardworking, she didn’t have one bad word during the whole thing and read her lines perfectly.</p><p>“He is quite the sight, huh?”</p><p>Misha’s voice snaps you out of your thoughts and you haven’t even noticed that Clyde was already gone. Standing next to you, she crosses her arms on her chest, eyes glued to the man in word.</p><p>“He has a great presence on the stage I heard.”</p><p>“He does?” you ask glancing at her. She nods, tugging her bright red hair behind her ears, a cheeky smile playing on her lips.</p><p>“I mean, he has one in real life too, but the way he appears up there, it’s worth a prayer,” she chuckles. “Good luck with not falling for him.”</p><p>“I’ll stay professional,” you sternly state, pushing that little voice in the back of your mind that’s doubting your words.</p><p>“Professionalism is the first thing you lose when you find yourself in the arms of such a man,” she smirks at you before walking away, leaving you with a whirl of thoughts circling around what she just said.</p><p>Checking your schedule you see that though you’ll be pretty busy from now on, your days filled with singing lessons and dance practices, many of them are solo appointments, but your eyes spot all the times when Adam’s name is written besides yours and you have one almost every day.</p><p>Glancing in his way one last time your eyes meet his stare, a small smile playing on his lips that you return before grabbing your stuff and leaving.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, wow,” Lora gasps as the picture of Adam appears on her computer, it’s from about a year ago, portraying him with slicked back hair wearing a long trench coat as he stares back at a guy intensely on the stage. You sip from your wine as Lora takes a good look at him.</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“How tall are you compared to him?”</p><p>“My forehead is at his mouth, more or less,” you say recalling how tall he looked standing right in front of you.</p><p>“That’s a nice height difference, like, you’ll have to tiptoe to kiss him, it’s cute,” she grins at you and the thought of kissing him send a shiver down your spine. You’ve been thinking about that a lot since you’ve left the table reading, the memory of his eyes on you and the words of Misha haunting you relentlessly.</p><p>“What’s that look?”</p><p>“What look?” you ask quickly straightening your expression, taking another sip of the wine.</p><p>“Oh I know this look, the guy is already messing with your head!”</p><p>“He is not,” you shake your head, but you can’t fool your best friend.</p><p>“Oh hell yes. I don’t blame you, he looks fine.”</p><p>Turning back to the computer she starts typing, digging deeper on the internet trying to find more about him as you lean your back against the headboard, hugging a pillow to your chest. You really can’t have yourself fall this easily for a man who you’ll be working with so closely. Adam seems nice and everything you’ve heard about him is quite impressing, but you don’t know what kind of man he really is. For all you know he can be the biggest jerk in all of New York City.</p><p>“Oh my God! Look at this!” you hear Lora gasp as she leans closer to the screen. Sitting up you wonder what she found and looking at the tab that’s open there is a short film playing.</p><p>Well, it’s not the type you were expecting, because right on the screen in front of you, there is Adam’s broad back in a light colored shirt, his hair a little longer than it is now and he is… fully spanking a girl bent over a work bench, wearing only a white tank top. Your mouth hangs open as the scene carries on in front of you, the girl or more like woman grunts with each hit on her lower half begging for him to go harder as Adam calls her a slut and a whore, making it probably the most disturbing cinematic thing you’ve seen that’s not officially considered as porn.</p><p>“I’m speechless,” Lora lets out an airy chuckle as the scene soon ends with the woman jumping into his arms and you realize she is not even wearing any underwear.</p><p>“What… was that?” you whisper with wide eyes. Lora types in a few things before she can answer that question.</p><p>“It’s a short film he did last year with someone named Jessa Johnson, it was a private project. It says the story is based on events from his own life.”</p><p>“So you are saying at one point he spanked some girl he was dating and then he decided to make a movie out of it?” you grimace in confusion. This is definitely not something that you would have ever thought of him.</p><p>“Oh, and the juiciest of all is that this Jessa girl was his girlfriend,” she continues reading about the film. “This article came out six months ago, they were together then. It adapts the happenings of his private life, how he dated the best friend of his ex-girlfriend.”</p><p>“Okay, that’s pretty fucked up, don’t you think?”</p><p>“Depends,” she shrugs as she keeps scrolling. “But this film is definitely a nasty one.”</p><p>“I can only imagine what else is in it,” you mumble finishing off your wine and reaching for the bottle you pour yourself some more.</p><p>“Wanna figure it out?” she grins and you shake your head no immediately.</p><p>“I don’t need inappropriate images in my mind when I’ll be stuck with him at rehearsals.”</p><p>Knowing how your conscious works you just can’t take the risk. If he appears in more inappropriate scenes in the film, you bet your life that you wouldn’t make yourself think of anything else when you look at him the next time. The spanking is already more than you would bear with.</p><p>“I wonder what else there is about him that we don’t know of,” Lora narrows her eyes staring into the distance.</p><p>Adam Sackler has given you way more to think about than you would have ever expected from someone and you haven’t even talked to him that much. His appearance, his words to you and the things the internet is holding about him, it all shows a different person and you can’t decide which one is the real side of him or where he stands if it’s a mixture. You wish you could just ask him all the questions you have about him and get your answers without being judged or have them held against you, but you are left with silent suffering and slow observation until you finally figure this handsome looking mysterious man you’ll be forced to cross paths every day.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Limo</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Things are getting a little... tensed.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Let’s see one more time from the second verse,” Cynthia, your vocal coach instructs sitting back behind the piano, eyes fixed on the sheets before her fingers start working on the keys, bringing the song alive again.</p><p>Taking a deep breath your chest buffs and a moment later you are singing the lines you’ve been practicing for hours now. Your vocal chords feel tired, but you keep pushing and the notes come out almost perfectly.</p><p>“Amazing! Don’t forget to make the end of the second line a little more airy and sweet,” Cynthia reminds you when you finish and grabbing a pen you circle the word to remind yourself next time.</p><p>“Thank you, will do,” you smile as you start packing your stuff.</p><p>It’s been just two days since the table reading, so far you’ve had two rehearsals with Cynthia and two meetings with the animation crew that will be making the beginning of the story into animation, just like in the movie and it’s going to be projected to four different screens on the stage, giving a shorter version of the original one before anyone sets feet on stage in real life. You are beyond excited and thrilled to see the outcome of all these little pieces, but that’s gonna take a little longer.</p><p>As you say your goodbye to Cynthia you walk out of the room and head up to the office since Petra asked you to drop by for some more signing. One arm deep in your bag, you’re looking for your phone when you turn the corner in the hallway and you bump right into someone.</p><p>“Whoa there, Giselle. Watch out, this is the real world.”</p><p>Two large hands are on your arms as Adam’s low chuckle rings in your ear.</p><p>“Oh, sorry. I’m a little tired,” you shyly smile taking a step back and as your eyes find his gaze the picture of him spanking that girl in the short film appears in front of you, making your cheeks red as a tomato.</p><p>“It’s exhausting being a princess, right?” he jokes with a charming smile, brushing his hair out of his forehead as he shifts his weight from one leg to the other. “Where you headed?”</p><p>“I just, um… I need to sign a few papers in the office.”</p><p>“You done for the day?”<br/>“Yeah, I just had a rehearsal with my vocal couch,” you nod tugging your hair behind your ears, his intense look making your nerves tremble inside you. This man is really just something else and figuring out seems like the hardest task you’ve had to face so far.</p><p>“Sounds great, wanna grab something to eat? I feel like we should get to know each other better. Dance practices start tomorrow, I would hate to feel awkward when we are trying to look madly in love.”</p><p>He has a valid point, though you’re not sure if being alone with him is a good idea, but you just don’t want to appear rude, so you don’t have any choice than to accept the invitation. Adam walks you to the office and waits for you while you sign the paperwork, chatting up with a young assistant outside and when you return you have no doubt she has fallen for him under those three minutes you’ve spent inside.</p><p>“Alright, see you around Susan,” he salutes seeing you walk out.</p><p>“Bye Adam!” she giggles returning to her work and you can’t help but glare at her a little longer, watching her absentminded smile linger on her lips from the conversation with him.</p><p>“What?” Adam asks when the two of you are in the elevator and most likely your look on him gives away you are deep in your thoughts about him.</p><p>“Nothing,” you shake your head forcing your eyes away from his tall frame.</p><p>“Come on, I can tell you have something to say,” he chuckles tilting his head to the side.</p><p>“I don’t,” you insist. No way you are telling him what’s been on your mind.</p><p>“So you are the kind of person who just pushes everything deep down into herself and then at one point you’ll just explode?”</p><p>“I’m not pushing anything down, I just like to keep some stuff private,” you narrow your eyes at him. “Do you share everything you think about with the people around you?”</p><p>“Actually, I do,” he states as the elevator door opens and you walk out side-by-side. “I’m an honest person and I have always had a hard time filtering what leaves my mouth.”</p><p>“So you just blurt everything out?” you ask with an amused chuckle.</p><p>“Basically,” he nods holding the door open for you as the two of you step out into the chilly late afternoon of the city.</p><p>“That’s can’t be too beneficial sometimes.”</p><p>“Have I offended people with my words? Definitely, but at least you don’t have to worry about what I think about because you actually know,” he scoffs and you shake your head at him chuckling.</p><p>He suggests a pasta place near and you let him lead the way while the two of you keep up a rather light, nice conversation. When you finally sit at the table with your delicious looking carbonara spaghetti right in front of you, that’s when you realize how hungry you’ve really been feeling.</p><p>“So, I’m not really big on dancing,” he starts, eyes fixed on his plate as he twirls his fork around, getting the pasta around it before sticking it into his mouth. “I apologize for all the times I’ll crush your feet in advance.”</p><p>“How did you get the part if you can’t dance?” you chuckle.</p><p>“Do you think Patrick Dempsey was a great dancer in the movie?” he asks and you see his point. “Anyway, I’m just that charming, I guess,” he shrugs jokingly.</p><p>“Yeah. I’ll be doing the real work anyway.”</p><p>“All the singing, dancing and everything, it really is on your shoulders.”</p><p>You just silently nod, suddenly realizing the truth behind those words. The excitement and amusement have pushed everything aside in the past week, but the thought of being a leading role in a Broadway show has been weighing on you secretly, building up your anxiety in the back of your mind about how much is really on your performance.</p><p>“Did I say something?” Adam asks, the fork stopping in his hand before he places it back onto his plate, looking at you searching for an answer.</p><p>“No, you didn’t.”</p><p>“Then why do you look like you just saw a pedophile for the first time?”</p><p>“That’s an odd comparison,” you huff at his words.</p><p>“But it’s the truth. So what’s gotten you all pale suddenly?”</p><p>“I guess it’s just the weight of this whole thing,” you shrug, trying to make it look like a smaller deal than it really is for you.</p><p>“It really is a big thing,” he nods in agreement and you’re glad he doesn’t try to convince you it’s just all in your head. “When my previous show opened on Broadway, my then girlfriend just dropped at me that she is moving to Iowa and I couldn’t focus through the night, I felt like I fucked the whole thing up.”</p><p>The mentioning of his ex-girlfriend has you wondering who he is talking about. Is this the girl from the film or the one he made the movie with? Is this Jessa girl still his girlfriend anyway? You didn’t find that out and it would be weird to just ask him about it, right?</p><p>“Sounds like the worst thing to say to someone who is about to go on stage.”</p><p>“Yeah, she didn’t really understand the concept of timing, I guess.” Adam shakes his head at the thought as he continues eating and your curiosity is growing bigger with each passing moment. You just can’t let it slip without a word, you need to ask him about the film. He put it out himself for the whole world to see, he can’t be that ashamed of it, right?</p><p>“So… Is this the girl from your film?”</p><p>His eyes flicker up to you and you immediately feel your cheeks heating up under his gaze. At first you regret opening your mouth, his straight face frightens you, but then you see that tiny smile playing on his lips and you figure he is more amused than mad.</p><p>“So you did your search on me.”</p><p>“My friend did,” you shrug and this is the truth, it was Lora who went digging, but he doesn’t have to know it was your idea.</p><p>“I bet you have questions.” Leaning back in his seat he drops his hands to his lap.</p><p>“Quite a few,” you nod, not wanting to lie now. This is your chance to have a better look at what kind of man he really is.</p><p>“Shoot them.”</p><p>“Is it true? The plot really happened?”</p><p>“Indeed,” he nods without the slightest sign of shame on his face. “I dated Hannah, kind of on and off for a while, then we broke up, and I formed a surprising bond with her best friend, Jessa that eventually turned into a relationship.”</p><p>“Don’t you think it was fucked up to date your ex’s best friend?”</p><p>You still haven’t been able to wrap your head around the betrayal that it must have been for the first girl, to see her ex with someone she probably trusted and loved.</p><p>“I’m not denying that we could have dealt with the situation in a smarter and nicer way, it would have been better if we just came clear at the beginning and be honest with Hannah, but I do not regret being with Jessa.”</p><p>“Has she moved on?” you ask and you quickly add: “Hannah, I mean.”</p><p>“She lives upstate now and has a baby. As far as I know she and Jessa made up, so… Yeah.”</p><p>“So you and Jessa are not together anymore?” You find yourself asking, and the amount of curiosity in yourself surprises you. You definitely shouldn’t care about this as much as you do.</p><p>“No,” he shakes his head. “It was never gonna last, we were destroying each other.”</p><p>You’re dying to know more, wanting to find out what he really means by that, but you feel like you can’t cross this line just yet, so you have to put up with whatever you got.</p><p>“You watched the whole thing?” His eyes flicker up to you, now he is the curious one.</p><p>“No, just a little bit of it,” you say, feeling the blush return to your cheeks as the spanking scene immediately starts in your mind again. Adam stares at you for a bit, trying to figure out how much you really saw and you guess your face gives you away way more than you’d want it.</p><p>“You think I’m weird,” he states and not questions.</p><p>“I was just… surprised,” you admit chuckling. “I wasn’t expecting to see you spank someone on the screen.”</p><p>“So you are that… vanilla type of person, huh?”</p><p>“I’m sorry?” you grimace.</p><p>“Spanking is not that kinky, you wouldn’t believe what kind of fucked up shit people actually do. But if you are horrified of spanking you really are that prude type of person.”</p><p>“I’m not prude,” you defend yourself, the hurt in yourself surprising you. Why do you care what he thinks about you?</p><p>“Oh really?” He raises his eyebrows at you, obviously enjoying where the conversation is heading. “What’s the most extreme place where you’ve had sex?”</p><p>Now you really think your head looks like a tomato and you regret getting into this conversation. You should have known he would go into details.</p><p>“I’m not talking about this with you.” Shaking your head you reach for your drink and wish you could drown yourself in the icy water.</p><p>“Why? It’s not that big of a deal, you already know something juicy about me,” he chuckles, clearly enjoying making you feel uncomfortable.</p><p>“No, but I don’t think it’s appropriate.”</p><p>“You’ve seen me spanking someone, I’m sure you can’t get the picture out of your head. Give me something I can think about so we can be equal.”</p><p>“That’s literally the worst reasoning I’ve ever heard,” you shake your head laughing.</p><p>“Come on! If you tell me, it will help bringing us closer and we can work together better.”</p><p>“I doubt that would be the situation,” you give him a look placing your glass back to the table, but he is just smirking at you cheekily.</p><p>“I won’t tell anyone, alright? And besides, I’m asking for just one thing. If you watch my whole film, you’ll have a lot more on me, so you’ll be winning.”</p><p>“I don’t know if it should be considered winning and I’m not planning on watching the rest of your film, so…”</p><p>“Y/N, stop being a pussy!” he groans rolling his eyes at you. “Just spill it!”</p><p>He is really not giving up and you blame yourself for getting yourself into this in the first place. You should have just kept your mouth shut.</p><p>He leans forward and pouts his lip at you, begging with his eyes and you know you’re screwed. You have no choice but tell him.</p><p>“In a limo,” you simply say and you watch his eyes go wide.</p><p>“W-With like other people in there, or…”</p><p>“No, it was just me and the guy and the partition was up, but I think the driver knew exactly what was happening,” you shake your head chuckling at the memory.</p><p>“When did this happen?”</p><p>“I was… twenty. So like five years ago. I was dating this rich guy who took me to a posh party and I drank a little too much from the fancy champagne so I didn’t care to wait until we got back to my place.”</p><p>You don’t feel that nasty like you were expecting to, it’s like sharing a dirty little secret without getting judged, because Adam looks more thrilled than disgusted by this little detail he just learned about you.</p><p>“Was it any good?”</p><p>“I mean, we were kinda drunk and it’s not as comfortable as you’d think it would be in a limo, because the height is not enough in there, but it wasn’t bad for sure,” you admit chuckling.</p><p>“Mhm, alright, now I’ll think of you every time I see a limo somewhere,” he nods and you kick him under the table making him laugh.</p><p>“Shut up. Don’t you ever bring this up, alright?” you warn him holding up a finger in front of him. Raising his hands he shows he got the hint, though you are not perfectly sure he won’t ever mention it.</p><p>You hate to say but he was right when he said it would bring you and him closer. After sharing such an intimate thing you don’t feel that anxious just being around him. You’d think talking about your most extreme sex experience and his kink of spanking someone would birth some very awkward tension between the two of you, but it’s not like that at all. You still think he is quite weird in some kind of way, but then… who isn’t? You’re pretty sure he has something against you as well, this is just how it is.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>The thing with Adam and his role is that he basically falls out of all the dancing and singing, leaving the hardest tasks to you and Clyde while he is usually just… there. In the park scene you’ll have a whole ballet with about thirty dancers with a continuously changing set around you, dancing for about three minutes straight while all Adam has to do is just… follow you around.</p><p>But he still attends rehearsals because Matt says Adam needs to know where he stands in the whole at all times. This is why you are at a huge mirrored room with ten dancers, you and Matt, relentlessly working on the choreography for part of the park scene while Adam just basically lingers around the room, occasionally standing in his spot.</p><p>“Get a great hold on her hip and just let her momentum help you raise her,” Matt instructs to the young dancer guy whose name you’ve been trying to remember for an hour, but it just doesn’t come to you. You stand facing each other as he nods and grabs on your hips firmly while you put your hands to his shoulders.</p><p>“Five, six, seven, eight!” Matt counts and you leap away from the ground, jumping up, but he misses the beat and doesn’t hold you in time, making you fall back to your feet and failing the move, again. “It’s not that hard, Jordan!” Matt snaps, clearly annoyed that you’ve been trying to nail this move for about ten minutes now. At least now you have his name.</p><p>He nervously lets go of you, rubbing his face with his hands, you bet he is trying his best, but he is just too nervous to do it.</p><p>Looking around Matt seemingly tries to find a substitute, but the small group of dancers at the rehearsal is not too promising, given the fact that most of them are women. You cross your arms on your chest, swinging your hips to the sides absentmindedly as you wait patiently. Matt’s dark and tired eyes land on Adam, who is sitting in the corner, reading a book and he makes an immediate decision.</p><p>“Adam, would you join us, please?”</p><p>His head shoots up and nodding he puts the book down striding over to you in the middle of the room.</p><p>“We need to improvise and I’m sure you’ll have no problem lifting her up,” Matt explains and walking around he instructs his hands to your hips.</p><p>You gulp hard at the warmth of his touch, having him so close is suddenly making you more self-conscious at the way you stand and look. Matt tells him how the move should go and Adam seems to be deep in his focus as he nods at the instructions.</p><p>“Y/N, try to jump a little higher, Adam is taller so you’ll need more power.”</p><p>“Okay,” you nod placing your hands to his broad shoulders.</p><p>“Alright, five, six, seven, eight!”</p><p>Bending your knee you push yourself away from the ground, your eyes meeting Adam’s gaze the moment your feet rise into the air and unlike with Jordan, you actually stay in the air.</p><p>His grip on your hips tighten, fingers digging into you and you suck on your breath holding part of your weight on your arms leant onto his shoulders. Just as Matt told him, he twirls you around, the skirt you’ve been wearing for rehearsals to make you get used to your future dresses flows after your frame until he finishes the whole circle and gently puts you down to the floor again, hands still on your waist and you don’t let go of him either.</p><p>“Okay, this looked amazing, so we are keeping it with you,” Matt cheers clapping his hands together, making both of you turn to him.</p><p>“What?” you ask a little confused.</p><p>“Yeah, I think it would look great.”</p><p>“Isn’t the scene about him being totally skeptical about the whole singing and dancing?”</p><p>“Yeah, but there is conflict in him, the music takes him a little bit so I think it would actually be amazing if he was the one doing the lifting.”</p><p>You see his logic and you have to admit it looks good, so you don’t question his decision. Matt puts the music on and the dancers take their spot around you as you start the previously learned choreography. You see Adam following his way around while everyone else is dancing around him, keeping up his skeptical act before it’s finally time for the lift again.</p><p>Your hands go to his shoulders and this time the whole move is faster, it’s just about a heartbeat long, but your eyes meet again and you let out a gasp knowing the music is tuning out the sound of it. You wouldn’t bet your life on it, but for a split second it feels like he squeezes your hips while holding up, and when he lets go of you his hand brushes against your butt or so it feels.</p><p>Your body reacts regardless of what your brain is telling yourself. It feels good to be touched by him and whenever his fingers dig into your flesh you think about what it would feel like if you weren’t dressed. And then, you make the mistake of thinking about the film again, the way his arms flexed with each movement before his palm collided with the girl’s ass.</p><p>You miss a step, but luckily, it’s not that big of a deal, Matt just tells you to focus next time and you shortly nod before he orders a five minute break. Wanting to escape the closeness of Adam you launch for your bag in the back of the room and grab your water feeling like you need to clear yourself out somehow.</p><p>“You clearly can’t contain your thoughts.”</p><p>His voice makes you jump and turning around your eyes meet his satisfied grin that you want to wipe off of him so bad.</p><p>“It would be easier if you weren’t touching my ass.”</p><p>“I wasn’t!” he protests, but the cheeky smile on his face gives him away and that you felt it right. He really was touching your ass. “If it makes you feel better, I thought that your rich ex-boyfriend had the same view of you in the limo while you rode him that I have when I lift you up.”</p><p>“Fucking Hell, Adam!” you gasp smacking his arm as he just laughs, enjoying that he can make you feel uncomfortable so easily.</p><p>“Come on! I’m just joking, okay? Let loose, you are so tensed.”</p><p>“If you kept your promise I wouldn’t be so tensed,” you mumble under your breath turning away from him, but he moves to get in your sight once again, leaning against the wall.</p><p>“Alright, I’m sorry. But I didn’t tell anyone, I swear.”</p><p>“Better keep that way.”</p><p>“Have you watched the rest of the film?”</p><p>“No, Adam. I told you I don’t want to,” you sigh, but it’s not really the truth. You do have curiosity about the rest, you just don’t know if you’d be able to handle it.</p><p>“Okay, alright. Sorry for bugging you. Though I’m curious what you’d say about the whole thing, like cinematically.”</p><p>“I’ll let you know when I choose to watch it and have an opinion,” you force a smile to yourself before walking away or more like escaping from the conversation.</p><p>Rehearsal ends an hour later and you have to do the lift three more times, having Adam stare into your soul every time you are above him, but you don’t think about the film anymore. Instead, it’s all about what he is thinking about. The thought of being on top of him in the back of a limo poisons your mind and no matter how hard you are trying to let go of it, you fail every time because there is that tiny smile playing on his lips and it’s making you lose your shit immediately.</p><p>You manage to leave without running into him once the rehearsal is over. It’s a huge wave of relief once you finally arrive home and you also feel like you could collapse right into bed from being so tired. After a relaxing shower you climb to bed and take your computer just checking up on your usual things. Right until you find yourself in your browser’s history, the cursor lingering above the link to Adam’s film.</p><p>“I’m losing my mind,” you whisper to yourself opening it and the film starts on your screen once again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Princess</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Rehearsals continue and you develop a rather weird but interesting friendship with Adam.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>it feels like it took me forever to write this chapter, im so sorry for that, but i've been busy with school and just life in general. but im excited for the story to continue!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>First rehearsal on the stage is thrilling for you, because even without an audience, the place has a special energy that hits you right at the moment you walk out. There’s no real set just yet, only a few props to signal where things will be placed once the designers are done.</p><p>Today’s walkover is about the date scene with Clyde aka prince Edward and you are excited to put your dancing shoes aside for just a little while, even though you know once this rehearsal is over you’ll have one with Matt and Adam for the ball scene, your absolute favorite. Trevor explains how he envisioned the scene to go, with the moving and changing set to make the audience feel like the two of you are walking through the city.</p><p>Working with Clyde has been the easiest so far. He is a genuinely nice and caring person, who obviously tries to put one hundred percent into everything he does, making it a real pleasure to work together with him. He definitely has the looks to play a prince, tall, tanned with a charming smile and luscious curls that bounce with every movement he makes with his head. You keep thinking about how he is basically what you would say to be your type, inside and out and you are actually surprised you haven’t fallen for him the moment his hand touched your waist. You like to think you’ve grown enough to contain your emotions.</p><p>“Have you had any costume fitting?” he asks as the two of you stand on the stage, scripts in hands while Trevor is discussing something with his assistant.</p><p>“No, but Misha has sent me a few previews. Have you?”</p><p>“Yeah, I had one yesterday. Can’t wait to step on stage in tights,” he grins making you chuckle.</p><p>“There’s no prince without tights.”</p><p>“Definitely,” he nods. “Anyway, your vocals are extremely on point.”</p><p>“How do you know?” you ask narrowing your eyes at him. You haven’t had any vocal lessons together, just solo ones.</p><p>“Cynthia showed me a recording last time, I was trying to learn the harmonizing and it helped to hear you too.”</p><p>“Oh,” you nod. “Well thank you, I’m sure you sing just as well too.”</p><p>“I’m trying, but no doubt you’ll be the star,” he smirks and you feel a blush warming your cheeks.</p><p>Rehearsing with Clyde feels like when you and Lora used to hang out in high school, just goofing around while trying to get your homework done. It’s productive, because you do what you are supposed to do, but you also keep making each other laugh with the constant joking and messing around.</p><p>After rehearsals you decide to check out the canteen for a late lunch together and it’s a suitable choice since your dance rehearsal with Adam starts in an hour so you have to stay around to be there in time.</p><p>“You can’t be serious,” you gasp, watching him dip his pickle into mayo.</p><p>“It’s a delicacy,” he chuckles before taking a bite and you actually feel yourself shiver.</p><p>“Oh my God, you are a psychopath!” you laugh shaking your head at him.</p><p>“Nah, I just have a sister who ate some really weird shit when she was pregnant, and I tried some out. This one turned out to be pretty good.”</p><p>“My statement still stands. Psycho,” you joke.</p><p>When a familiar tall figure appears you spot him right away even from just the corner of your eyes. It doesn’t take long for Adam to spot the two of you since the canteen is not big enough to make it hard for anyone to see who’s really there.</p><p>“What a coincidence!” Adam cheerfully greets you standing at the table. Clyde hops to his feet as their palms meet and they do that typical half-hug thing men always do. Then his eyes wander over to you and you let a smile take over your lips.</p><p>“Hi Adam, ready to dance?” you ask as he snatches a chair from the table next to yours and he sits down.</p><p>“I was born ready! Hope your feet don’t break easily,” he jokes and you just shake your head chuckling.</p><p>“It’s not fair you two get the pretty dance while I’ll be in the background in tights,” Clyde sighs, but you know he is just furthering the joke.</p><p>“Clyde is not too excited about wearing tights, as you can see,” you explain to Adam who understandingly nods.</p><p>“I’m just saying, that out of the three of us,” he says gesturing around the table, “I’m definitely not the right one to wear tights on stage.”</p><p>“You’re right, I have nice thighs,” Adam nods and you can’t help but start laughing loudly. Somehow the image of him wearing tights is just so absurd you’d really love to see it.</p><p>Clyde sticks around for a little longer, the three of you having a nice conversation, a normal one which is surprising given the fact that Adam is present, but maybe this is the proof that he can be normal sometimes too. Then Clyde needs to leave and once he is out of the canteen Adam turns to you.</p><p>“Clyde wants to fuck you,” he simply says and you almost choke on your apple juice.</p><p>“Excuse me?” you manage to get out between coughs.</p><p>“What? Did you not notice how hard he was trying?”</p><p>“He wasn’t trying, he was just being a nice, normal person. You could try it,” you grimace at him. So much for being normal for once.</p><p>“Oh come on! I bet he’ll nut tonight thinking about you.”</p><p>“Would you stop unloading your dirty fantasies on me? Not everyone is as kinky as you. Most people don’t make a whole film about their relationship filled with all the sexual details.”</p><p>“Holy fuck, you watched the whole film!” he gasps happily and you immediately regret opening your mouth. You really should have thought about what you say. “How did you like it?”</p><p>“Honestly, I have no idea how you got away with making it, if I was your ex I wouldn’t have let you make it.”</p><p>“She saw it.”</p><p>“I bet she loved it.”</p><p>“She loved it when it happened in real life and I didn’t lie in the film,” he shrugs and the blush is back on your cheeks as you think about everything you saw in that film. The most intimate moments of a quite passionate relationship were revealed right in front of you and if you are being honest, you felt like part of it by the end, no matter how disturbing it was to see Adam in such scenes.</p><p>“I’m actually surprised you watched it.”</p><p>“Why? You were nonstop bugging me to watch it.”</p><p>“Yeah, but I thought you wouldn’t.”</p><p>“Well, I did and the trauma can’t be undone now,” you give him a look and checking the time you see that if you don’t leave now you’ll be late and Matt will be furious at the both of you.</p><p>You manage to dodge any further questions about the film as the two of you head for rehearsal, though you can tell he is curious about what you really think. It was definitely not a good idea to bring it up right before rehearsal, because now you have to get through 90 minutes pressed up against him, dancing to an incredibly romantic song, staring dreamily into each other’s eyes. Not ideal.</p><p>The song is critical. Not because it’s that bad, but because you are a real sucker for the kind of music in movies that could make you cry because they are so perfect for the scene. You’ve seen the movie way too many times and dreamed about dancing with that one person, but you never thought you’d actually dance to this song with someone and that person is now Adam.</p><p>It’s all fun and games when you are just learning the basics, not even touching, just standing in a line with Matt in front of the mirror and dancing like you have an imaginary partner. You keep peeking at Adam in the mirror and he is not that bad, in fact, he is doing great so far, you don’t know why he said he is not a good dancer.</p><p>“Okay, ready to combine?” Matt claps his hands, wiggling his eyebrows as he takes a step back, giving the two of you space to get close.</p><p>You hesitantly turn to Adam who closes the distance with one long step, standing right in front of you. Looking up at him you remember Lora’s comment on his height when it will be like to kiss him and you quickly furrow your eyebrows trying to get rid of the thought.</p><p>“What’s the look for?” Adam smirks down at you, tilting his head to the side gently.</p><p>“Nothing,” you purse your lips.</p><p>Matt helps you find the right position, Adam’s palm feels warm on your back and you suddenly wish your shirt was a bit thicker, covering you better. You feel his defined muscles under your palm on his shoulder and your eyes linger a little longer at the way your hand gets lost in his hold.</p><p>You first try it without the music, mostly both of you staring down at your feet to make sure you are doing the steps right and Matt gives you time to adjust, but you can’t keep your head down forever.</p><p>“Alright, let’s make a try and this time try to look into each other’s eyes at least half the time,” Matt requests and you bite into your bottom lip, trying to control your nerves. This is just dancing with Adam, the weird guy who made a kinky film about his past relationship, remember? He is weird!</p><p>But he is so tall and his eyes are so dreamy and his hands are…</p><p>“Okay, five, six, seven, eight!” Matt’s clapping interrupts your thoughts as you start the choreography again.</p><p>You have to watch your feet at first so you know you’re heading in the right direction, but a few steps later you force yourself to bring your gaze up and your eyes meet his.</p><p>It just hits different. Being so close to him, feeling his touch on your back and palm, you suddenly feel a strong urge to run your fingers through his hair and you almost do it before you tell yourself to behave. There is just something in him that makes your whole mind stop working properly even though you have a pretty strong opinion about him and the kind of man that he is.</p><p>For a spare second you even forget to breathe as you are staring into his eyes and there’s a feeling in your guts that you just can’t identify and before you could get further in this sensation Matt’s voice snaps you out of your thoughts.</p><p>“Amazing, this will look fantastic!”</p><p>You force a small smile to your face as you look at the choreographer and he brought you back to reality just in time.</p><p>You try to lock this feeling up in the remaining time so you don’t embarrass yourself with something. The last thing you need is to say something that gives away the conflict you are having in you.</p><p>“You’re always so fast to leave!”</p><p>Adam’s voice stops you when you are already out in the hallways, ready to leave and stay unnoticed, but that last part apparently did not work. Wrapping your hands around the strap of your bag you turn around and see him heading in your way with long steps, his hair flowing with him.</p><p>“Why should I be here without getting paid for my time?” you tilt your head with a half-smile and your comment makes him laugh.</p><p>“Good point. Do you have to be somewhere?” he asks catching up with you and now you are walking towards the exit side by side.</p><p>“Apart from my bed? Not really.”</p><p>“Great, then let’s get a beer or something.”</p><p>“It’s not a suggestion or an invitation, he states it like you’ve agreed on it weeks ago and you find yourself being quite okay with it.</p><p>Settling in a nearby place you order yourself the beer that’s been talked about, but Adam just sticks with iced tea and you give him a puzzled look for his choice.</p><p>“You said we are getting a beer.”</p><p>“Yeah, for you. I don’t drink.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“I’m a recovered alcoholic, I don’t drink,” he explains and now you have another piece of information about him that you put into your little Adam Sackler file in your head.</p><p>“So you are trying to get me drunk?”</p><p>“I’m not saying I don’t hope to have you spill something juicy about yourself, but I’m not forcing you to drink either.”</p><p>There’s a boyish smile playing on his lips and you roll your eyes at him as the drinks soon land on your table.</p><p>You find it amusing how fast he can make you forget about everything you’ve been thinking about when you thought about him, and make you see him just as this funny, carefree person who is sitting right across you at the table. He really is funny and it’s not just the beer that’s telling you this, he has a great sense of humor, he is especially talented in saying the funniest things with the straightest face, just staring at you like he is meaning every single word that leaves his mouth when you both know it’s all just bullshit.</p><p>“I’m honestly having a hard time figuring you out,” you sigh leaning back in your chair, fingers fidgeting with your second beer on the table. You’re definitely not drunk, just loose in the best kind of way.</p><p>“What’s so hard about it?” he tilts his head, genuinely interested in your answer.</p><p>“I don’t know, you are just… It’s like you have these different personalities and I can never know which is the real one.”</p><p>“What personalities?” he chuckles at your theory.</p><p>“One is this funny, normal guy,” you start gesturing towards him. “Then there is the kinky bastard who spanks girls and then there is this mysterious, serious side that I always see in rehearsals.”</p><p>“Kinky bastard?” he chuckles, clearly enjoying the discussion. “You’ll never let go of the spanking, right?”</p><p>“It just doesn’t fit into the picture,” you explain.</p><p>“That’s because we never had sex and we haven’t spent that much time together outside of rehearsals. I’m working there, of course I’m being serious! That’s just how adults act in serious scenarios. But the rest is just simply me, a mixture of the things you just said.</p><p>“So you are just a funny, normal guy with a hint of kinky?”</p><p>“Probably more than a hint, but yeah,” he nods smirking.</p><p>Spending time outside of rehearsal really helps you see Adam as a whole, the mixture of the sides you’ve experienced from him and you feel like it has brought him closer to you as a person, a colleague and maybe as a friend. You find him an amazing company actually, a great partner to discuss different kind of things. He has a somehow different view of the world than you, but you also agree on many things and this creates the perfect base for an actually interesting and enjoyable conversation.</p><p>“Stop!” You gasp laughing as you try to get Adam off a pole on your way home after he decided he is strong enough to hold himself up horizontally on it, but he is just probably getting close to knocking it straight out of the ground.</p><p>“They should make these more massive!” he grunts jumping back to the ground.</p><p>“You are massive,” you snort as the two of you leave the poor pole and continue walking towards your building.</p><p>“I am. In all means,” he smirks at you and you imitate gagging. His dirty comments stopped bothering you, he kept sneaking in something inappropriate into the conversation throughout the night and you just kind of got used to it. This is how he is, a kinky bastard, but at least a funny one.</p><p>“You know, we should hang out more often,” he suggests galloping ahead of you and turning to face you he does a funny dance move that makes you laugh.</p><p>“Oh yeah? So I should spend my little free time outside of rehearsals with the same person I’m with all day?”</p><p>“We are not together all day,” he protest and you just chuckle, knowing well he is right, you just felt like exaggerating. “You didn’t have fun tonight?” he asks as he returns next to you, walking side by side.</p><p>“I did.”</p><p>“Great. Then we will spend more time together,” he nods and it’s not a suggestion anymore, he is stating it like the most certain fact ever.</p><p>You don’t protest.</p><p> </p><p>Sometimes rehearsals are like one big chaos, especially when everyone is present on the stage, all dancers and actors with the production staff, but there’s no other way to rehears the big dancing scenes.</p><p>Today it’s the park scene again, you are wearing another flowy dress Misha gave you, that resembles to the one you’ll be actually wearing, Adam is dressed in dark jeans and a black shirt, nothing extra, and he seems to be enjoying that everyone around him is doing their absolute best while he has to do that one lifting and nothing else, just follow you around the stage.</p><p>Clyde is at the back, he has only a little stage time as the prince is looking for Giselle in the park, so beside Adam he is the other person who doesn’t have much to do.</p><p>“<em>How do you know he loves you?” </em>you sing with a bright smile and big gestures, grabbing Adam’s wrist as you pull from one place to another, dancers following around, the scene constantly changing around you to make it look like you are on the move. <em>“How do you know he’s yours?”</em></p><p>You catch Adam smirking and you already know he is thinking about something dirty, as per usual. You do the lifting and you feel his hand smacking your ass when he puts you down, no one notices, but you shoot him a glare to which he just smirks again.</p><p>“Okay, amazing. Take ten, we’ll see the final part a few more times!” Trevor instructs when the music stops and people starts flowing off the stage.</p><p>“Stop touching my butt,” you tell Adam, the two of you walking towards the edge of the stage.</p><p>“I can’t, it’s just always in the way,” he holds up two hands innocently and you just roll your eyes at him.</p><p>“Hey, do you guys have any plans for tonight?” Clyde walks up with a bright smile as he joins the two of you, fingers fidgeting with the water bottle in his hands.</p><p>“I’m babysitting my niece,” Adam answers running a hand through his hair.</p><p>“You have a niece?” you turn to him surprised.</p><p>“I do,” he simply nods and it doesn’t seem like he is about to share any more details so you turn back to Clyde.</p><p>“I’m free.”<br/>“Wanna go for a drink maybe or something? I’m so done sitting at home when I’m not here.”</p><p>“Sure,” you nod and watch Clyde walk away smiling back at you.</p><p>“He is still trying hard to get into your pants,” Adam scoffs and you turn to him with a grimace.</p><p>“He is not.”</p><p>“Oh he surely is. I’m pretty sure he thinks this is a date or something like that.”</p><p>“It’s not a date.”</p><p>“Tell that to him, because the dude is keen on fucking you, <em>princess</em>.”</p><p>You eventually give up trying to convince Adam about your truth, and you also realize you don’t owe him a word. You know what this really is and that’s all that matters. Adam can think whatever he wants, that still doesn’t make it real.</p><p>“So you’re really going out with him, huh?” Adam comes up to you once rehearsal is over. You glance up at him nodding while you’re packing your stuff up.</p><p>“Yeah, why?”</p><p>“I’m telling you, he thinks this is more than just casual drinking.”</p><p>“So then what?” you sigh, confused about why he is so worked up by the thought of you and Clyde having a few drinks. “I’m single, he is a nice guy, maybe I also think of it as more. Is that not an option?”</p><p>He genuinely seems surprised by your answer and it tells you he clearly didn’t think of this version. Frowning a bit he tilts his head.</p><p>“So that’s your type?”</p><p>“Stop using that tone, please,” you sigh zipping your bag and heading to the door, Adam following you right behind.</p><p>“Okay, I’m sorry, but still, that’s not how I imagined your type to be.”</p><p>“You often think about what my type is?”</p><p>“I did a few times, yes.”</p><p>“Then stop,” you sigh stopping and looking at him. “It’s not like you have a word in it or something. If you hate the idea of me and Clyde going out so much, just come. He invited you as well.”</p><p>“I told you, I’m babysitting my niece. My sister would lose her shit if I cancelled.”</p><p>“Then there’s nothing I can do for you. Just stop thinking about it,” you shrug, clearly over it, but Adam is not on the same page.</p><p>“Cancel on him.”</p><p>“Why would I do that?” you ask with a puzzled chuckle.</p><p>“Because…” he is searching eagerly for the right words, his hands anxiously tapping on his thighs. This is a waste of time, you think to yourself.</p><p>“See you at the next rehearsal, Adam,” you sigh walking away.</p><p> </p><p>Clyde is awesome. Clyde is exactly the person you imagined for yourself a little while ago, he is nice, funny and just overall a good person. You enjoy spending time with Clyde and you find him attractive, but…</p><p>But something is just off and you can’t tell what it is.</p><p>Sitting in a bar with him that evening you can’t stop thinking about that one thing that’s making you not fall for him even though you know you should be. Adam’s words keep repeating in your mind about how he is not what he thought your type would be.</p><p><em>Of course he is my type!</em> You basically tell yourself defiantly, cursing Adam out for planting such thoughts into your mind. <em>Stupid Adam!</em></p><p>By the time you and Clyde part your ways you are pretty sure this wasn’t a date which is a relief, but it still got you thinking why you are so against dating Clyde. On your way home you catch yourself pulling your phone out of your bag to text Adam and tell him you were right when you stop in your way in the middle of the street.</p><p>“Are you stupid?” some random guy growls at you who almost bumps into you. Looking up you mumble a short sorry before looking back down at your phone.</p><p>Adam was all you thought about all evening, you saw him in everything Clyde said and now he is your first thought and the person you want to talk to. He sneaked his way into all of your thoughts and this is starting to feel concerning.</p><p>Adam is not your type. He just can’t be.</p><p>Clyde should be.</p><p>Not Adam.</p><p>Right?</p><p>Right?!</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Conflicted</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Being on Broadway is more stressful than you'd expected, but Adam finds a way to get your mind off work.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Time is your biggest enemy on Broadway. Everything needs to be settled and done by the premiere, there’s just no other way to go. You can’t just wing it and go with the flow. Rehearsals melt into one big mass in your mind, you start to feel like you are always there, singing, dancing, <em>Giselling</em>.</p><p>Exhaustion starts to kick in, causing you to lose focus and get disoriented at the worst times, when you are required to give 100% of yourself.</p><p>Matt stares at you like he could kill you right there when you mess up the same step for the millionth time, stopping the whole song.</p><p>“I’m so sorry,” you mumble shaking your head.</p><p>“Do you think you can remember that it’s left-right-front-kick or are you planning on fucking it up on the premiere as well?” His words are soaked with anger and irritation and honestly, he has every right to be mad at you.</p><p>“No, I’m sorry.”</p><p>Sighing deep he checks the time on his watch and then rolls his eyes.</p><p>“Dismissed. Go home and get your shit together,” he spats as the dancers start to leave the stage, but you stand there for a few more seconds, trying to pull yourself together. This can’t continue, you can’t be any problem to the production, you are the female lead, you have to be on top all the time.</p><p>“Hey, you alright?” Adam walks up to you and this time you don’t feel any playfulness in him, he looks genuinely concerned about you.</p><p>“I’m just… I’m a little off,” you mumble feeling your throat closing up. You can’t start crying right here, you have to get the hell out of here now.</p><p>Turning around you march over to your bag and grabbing it you head out as fast as possible, Adam following you right behind.</p><p>“Hey, wait! Y/N!” He grabs you wrist on the hallway and you unwillingly but stop, avoiding to look into his eyes. “Don’t take it so serious, everyone can have bad days.”</p><p>“It’s not a bad day, I’ve been fucking up all week,” you hiss, the tears dwelling in your eyes.</p><p>“That’s alright, don’t be so hard on yourself.”</p><p>He lifts a hand up hesitantly, like he is debating what he should do, and then puts an arm around your shoulders pulling you in for a hug. You blink a few times in surprise, but his embrace feels oddly soothing, so slowly but surely you hug him back, focusing on his body’s warmth as you calm yourself down a bit.</p><p>“Are you in a rush?” he asks when you let go of each other and you shake your head no tugging your hair behind your ears. “Great. Up for a walk?”</p><p>You’ve heard about the High Line Park, but you just never got around to see it yourself. The old railway track turned into a long park runs across many streets, giving the most amazing view of the Sun going down over the city, painting the sky between the buildings, the lines of cars merging into a red and a white line on the road.</p><p>The two of you sit at a bench over one of the streets, watching the busy city at your feet eating sandwiches you got from a nearby deli.</p><p>“So what did you do before you got the role?”</p><p>Adam’s mouth is full of food and swear to God, he is the messiest eater you’ve ever seen.</p><p>“Um, a lot of stuff, I was a bartender for a year, worked at a hotel, a restaurant, you know. The usual stuff people do waiting for the big break.”</p><p>“I bet you got a lot of tip,” he scoffs making you roll your eyes, but you can’t push a smile down. You did, since your boss made you wear the tightest clothes to get the customers’ attention on you.</p><p>“What did you do before you got into acting?”</p><p>“A bunch of shit. Did some woodwork, thought I could be a carpenter, but I sucked at it. Some smaller acting gigs, you know.”</p><p>“And then Broadway?”</p><p>“Basically,” he nods.</p><p>“How do you take it so well?” you sigh leaning back and staring down at one particular car until it disappears on the corner.</p><p>“Well, I definitely don’t have as much dancing and singing going on for me than you. I’m just basically standing there skeptically until I fall in love with you,” he chuckles. “But on the other hand, I give zero shit.”</p><p>“About the show?”</p><p>“No. If I do good. Because I know that I do the max I could do at that moment, and if that’s not enough for them… Fuck them!”</p><p>“Wow,” you chuckle. “Such a free spirit!”</p><p>“I’m just done living my life for others,” he shrugs, his attention returning to the remaining of his sandwich. “You shouldn’t care that much about the stupid dances.”</p><p>“I just want to do the perfectly. That’s why they pay me.”</p><p>“You do them good enough, don’t stress. Matt is just a little angry fucker.”</p><p>You laugh at his comment on the choreographer, he surely tend to get angry sometimes.</p><p>Sitting there with Adam is probably the most relaxing thing you’ve ever experienced in months. Daylight turns into nighttime and you are still there, sharing funny stories and little bits and bites about your past with each other. He does a great job at diverting your attention from the rehearsal earlier.</p><p>“No, you have to keep your arms flexed!” you instruct him, showing him how to stand. Not sure how and why, but you ended up talking about that time you were a cheerleader and Adam wanted you to teach him some dance moves, but he sucks at it.</p><p>“Like this?” he asks, but basically does the total opposite.</p><p>“No!” you chuckle, but from then, he just starts this weird dance around you, making you laugh so hard people start to stare at you. “Stop!” you laugh trying to get a hold of him. When you finally grab onto his shoulders he stops chuckling.</p><p>“You like my dance moves?”</p><p>“They suck,” you giggle as he grabs you by the waist and tries to twirl you around, but since you are resisting it turns into a mess and you both almost fall over.</p><p>“Adam!” you shriek as you lose balance, holding onto his broad shoulders you feel yourself falling towards the ground, but he manages to keep you, leaning above you, both of you still laughing, almost crying.</p><p>“Fuck!” he barks, his hair falling into his face as you just keep laughing, hanging on Adam until you end up on the ground at last, Adam basically falling right onto you as he can’t keep himself up above you anymore.</p><p>You gasp for air and it’s just a few seconds later that you realize how close he is, practically lying on top of you on the ground. His grin slowly disappears as well, eyes locked on each other as the situation quickly turns from quirky to sexually tensed.</p><p>Because that’s how you feel, so close to him, his breath hitting your neck, arms on each of your side, legs tangled.</p><p>You don’t move, you just can’t, neither back nor forward, but that’s enough of a sign for Adam and he doesn’t want to miss the chance. With a firm move he closes the small distance between you and him, lips crashing onto yours and you kiss him back immediately.</p><p>It completely slips your mind that you are lying on the ground at High Line, a very public place, the only thing you can think about is how amazing it is to kiss Adam. Like his lips were made to be touching yours. Reaching up you cup his face in your hands as his kiss become more and more demanding, passion soaking every touch, his tongue melting together with yours completely.</p><p>“Fucking weirdos!” someone shouts and you snap back to the real world, pushing him away. It takes quite a few moments to clear your thoughts from the kiss, but when you do, reality hits harder than you’d have wanted it.</p><p>“I…” Climbing out from under him you sit up and shock sets in. You shouldn’t have kissed him, this was a mistake. Adam is the kind of person you should keep yourself away from, right?</p><p>“Y/N—“</p><p>“I gotta go,” you mumble jumping to your feet while he is still sitting on the ground.</p><p>“Wait, I—“</p><p>“See you at rehearsal.” Grabbing your bag from the bench you flee without looking back and giving him the chance to stop you.</p><p>You don’t stop until you are off the track, down at the street and daring to glance back you are relieved to see that he is not following you. Or you think you are relieved, because that’s what you should feel when you don’t see him.</p><p>You’ve never felt more stupid, confused and terrified at the same time before. You should have never let it go so far, but you don’t need too much time to realize it’s not because of the reasons you should be worried about. Not because you and him work together or because not so long ago you thought about him as this weird, kinky guy. But because you liked it, you want it to happen again and you won’t be able to keep yourself away from him now even though your brain knows you shouldn’t get involved with him.</p><p>Lying in your bed, staring at the ceiling you wish you knew what Adam was thinking. Was it a big deal for him? Is he even thinking about it? What did it mean for him?</p><p>“Fuck this,” you growl turning around and burying your face in your pillow.</p><p>The next day is an exciting one. It’s the first rehearsal with full costume, Misha sent out the notification that costumes have been finalized and Trevor confirmed that you’d be rehearsing in them from the next day on, so first thing in the morning you find yourself at Misha’s, staring at the most perfect princess dresses you’ve ever seen. You’ll have four different costumes throughout the play: a white, puffy dress for the opening, the turquoise one for the most of the scenes, a lavender dress for your very short date with the prince and the last one, the dress for the ball. The first three resemble almost perfectly to the ones in the movie, Misha did an amazing job copying them, but for the ball, she created something different.</p><p>“I talked to Trevor, he agreed a more dominant color would be better,” she explains as you examine the dress in awe. The one in the movie was a plain one, not too special, but this one in front of you is a dream. It’s a deep burgundy color with a closed front but an extremely daring back. You’ll basically have your whole back on display, but you don’t mind. This dress is a dream. The bottom is a lot more flowy than the original one and millions of tiny silver sequins were sewed to it, thick at the bottom, going less and less upwards until they fade away around your chest.</p><p>“This is breathtaking!” you say, running your fingers gently through the soft fabric.</p><p>“Try it on then,” she smirks and she doesn’t have to say it twice.</p><p> </p><p>When you walk into rehearsal in your turquoise dress and see everyone else in their costume you can’t wipe the smile off your lips. It’s mind blowing seeing everything come together and you can’t wait for the whole play to be done and ready to premiere.</p><p>“Wow, look at you!”</p><p>Clyde strides over to you in his prince costume, puffy sleeves and tight pants, an amused smile on his face as his eyes run down your body checking out the dress.</p><p>“You look very prince-like yourself,” you giggle when he takes one of your hand and twirls you around, the silky dress flowing around you perfectly.</p><p>“It’s exciting, right?”</p><p>“It’s nice to see the small parts coming together.”</p><p>The rest of the dancers soon arrive along with Trevor, Matt and Petra and from the corner of your eyes you see Adam arriving in his plain suit as well. Clyde is telling you about something that happened yesterday, but your mind goes blank when you spot Adam from across the stage. His eyes meet your gaze and he stops in his way, staring right back at you. He then heads in your direction and suddenly you want to escape. You can’t talk to him right now, you’re not ready yet.</p><p>Excusing yourself from Clyde you try to avoid Adam and your plan succeeds, because just when he reaches you Trevor requests silence, the rehearsal is starting.</p><p>“Can we talk in the break?” he whispers into your ear, sending a shiver down your spine when the thought of his lips on your lips pops into your head again.</p><p>“Not sure it’s a good idea.”</p><p>“We need to.”</p><p>“Adam, is there something you might want to share with the whole cast?” Trevor’s voice interrupts your little secret discussion and Adam takes a tiny step away from you shaking his head.</p><p>“No, not really.”</p><p>A round of low chuckle runs through the cast, Trevor gives him a stern look before continuing. Luckily, Adam doesn’t get to talk to you for the next 90 minutes, but you are still struggling to focus fully when you can feel his burning gaze on you wherever you go. And in addition, you still have to do the twirling.</p><p>As the song carries you try to keep your focus on the lyrics and bring the best possible Giselle out of yourself. Unlike yesterday, you don’t mess the steps up and you see Matt watching with a satisfied smile on his face even though he was about to bite your head off just a day ago.</p><p>Then the time comes and turning completely to Adam you put your hands to his broad shoulders and as you leap from the ground he lifts you up, eyes locked at each other and there is that feeling again. Your body reacts to his touch and it aches for his kiss. You want to feel his lips on you again, pull his body close, feel his hands explore your body.</p><p>And then you are back on the ground and somehow you don’t miss a beat, continuing to sing perfectly, but your thoughts are still very much linked to the tall man standing somewhere behind you.</p><p>The cast goes through the entire choreography two more times and then breaking it down you repeat the critical parts until Matt is somehow satisfied with what he is seeing.</p><p>“Alright, ten minutes!” Trevor dismisses everyone and the stage quickly starts to empty out.</p><p>Heading off yourself you hold the bottom of your dress up so you don’t trip in it, but jumping off the stage at the front in this dress is quite a challenge.</p><p>“Here, let me help.”</p><p>Adam reaches up for you and you make one more attempt to get off on your own before you grab onto him and let him lift you off like you were the weight of a feather.</p><p>“Thanks,” you mumble marching past him hoping he wouldn’t come after you, but you are out of luck.</p><p>“Can we talk now?”</p><p>“No,” you simply say, but he just keeps following you. The plan was to sit at the back of the auditorium, hidden in the dark, but now Adam is with you, so there’s no chance of being alone in the next nine minutes.</p><p>“Well, we need to.”</p><p>Coming to a halt you turn to face him at last. You can’t really escape him, it’s not like he’ll just respect your will of not talking. That just wouldn’t be like him.</p><p>“Okay. Then talk,” you shortly say, arms folding on your chest. Your sudden change seemingly surprised him.</p><p>“Alrighty, uh… So that happened yesterday.”</p><p>“Yep.”</p><p>“I’m not sure why you basically ran away like I just tried to murder you or something.”</p><p>“I… It was a mistake.”</p><p>Normally it would hit the other person hard in the chest when you call a kiss a mistake. Or at least this is your experience, but Adam doesn’t seem shaken at all.</p><p>“Why do you think that?” he asks instead, wanting to understand your reasoning.</p><p>“Because…” you start w little too heated, but then nothing comes out of your mouth. Everything you thought about last night now seems too stupid to say them out loud even though you still feel the same. Adam stares back at you patiently, but he can clearly sense that you don’t have a fully comprehend answer to his questions. “Because we are very different, Adam.”</p><p>“I don’t think we are, we wouldn’t have gotten along this well if it was true.”</p><p>“Just because we got along it doesn’t mean we are compatible for more than just being friends and co-workers.”</p><p>It’s true. You’re not lying with that, but even you don’t believe it’s the case for you and him.</p><p>“I feel like you don’t believe it yourself,” he chuckles, hands on his hips. He looks so massive, you wonder what it’s like when he is pushing you into the mattress…</p><p>
  <em>No! Get your shit together!</em>
</p><p>“We are co-workers. It’s not appropriate.”</p><p>“So what? Clyde is also your co-worker and you still went on a date with him.”</p><p>“It wasn’t a date.”</p><p>“Wait, is that the problem?” he asks taking a step back, looking for an answer in your expressions.</p><p>“That I didn’t have a date with Clyde?” you frown on confusion.</p><p>“No. Clyde. Is he the problem? Like, are you guys together or hooking up or some shit?”</p><p>“No, we are not,” you roll your eyes.</p><p>“Then what is really the problem? Because you couldn’t bring anything reasonable up. This is Broadway, they don’t give a shit if we are having an orgy between acts as long as the show is running.”</p><p>Opening your mouth you are about to say probably something stupid when Trevor’s voice rings through the place.</p><p>“Everyone back please, we are starting!” clapping he reaches for his notebook as the dancers start flowing back to the stage.</p><p>“We gotta go,” you mumble walking past him. Catching up with you he makes one last attempt to talk but it’s cut short almost immediately by Trevor as he orders everyone in place.</p><p>After rehearsal you go to change and luckily you manage to sneak out without running into Adam. He calls you when you are already on the subway, but you ignore the call. You’re convinced it’s for the best.</p><p>Lora comes over that night for a girly talk and you intend not to even mention Adam. Your thoughts need to get cleared, but it’s harder than you thought.</p><p>“Okay, what the fuck is up with you?” she asks putting her food box back to the table.</p><p>“What do you mean?” trying your best to look innocent you put some pasta into your mouth, chewing in an awkwardly slow pace.</p><p>“You look like shit and I bet you can’t tell what I was talking about just a moment ago.”</p><p>“I can! It was…” Your answer was too confident, because you actually have no idea what she just said. “Okay, I’m sorry, I zoned out.”<br/>“It’s not just zoning out, there is something, I can tell. Is it something with work? Don’t let fucking Broadway ruin you!”</p><p>“It’s not work, the play is going well.”</p><p>“Then what it is?”</p><p>Your lack of answer is just enough for Lora to figure out what’s behind all of this.</p><p>“Oh my God. It’s Adam, right? What did you not tell me? Did you fuck him backstage? Did he spank you?” Lora is quick to put together the craziest theories and you grimace at her words.</p><p>“Shut up, we did not fuck… But we kissed.”</p><p>“What?!”</p><p>Quickly you sketch up everything she missed and she listens like you are reading from the holy bible. You’re afraid she is judging you deep down and you wouldn’t be surprised, but her reaction at the end is telling another story.</p><p>“So what is your problem with him?”</p><p>“Lora,” you say giving her a look. “You saw the movie, he is a freak!”</p><p>“Don’t be such a pussy! Everyone is a freak. Are you afraid he would choke you to death or something?”</p><p>No matter how weird you thought Adam to be, you’d never think he could hurt you in any way. He is a smart guy who understands limits and boundaries, so it has never even occurred to you that he would hurt you.</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Having kinks is not weird, in fact, I’m pretty sure you have some, you just ignore the existence of them. He likes to spank girls, so what?”</p><p>“Yeah, and he calls them whores while fucking them,” you add.</p><p>“You know, I would love to have a big, hunky guy gave me a spank, called me a dirty whore and then fucked me into another dimension.”</p><p>“What the fuck, Lora!” you gasp, but it soon turns into a laughter as she just smirks into her glass taking a few sips from her drink. “You seemed surprised too when we found that short film.”</p><p>“Of course I was, that’s not what you’d expect when you search up someone’s name, but I didn’t say I didn’t like what I saw.”</p><p>“You are not helping me,” you mumble shaking your head. You were definitely not expecting her to take his side.</p><p>“I just don’t get why you fight so bad against him. You said it yourself it’s not a problem work-wise, that they don’t care about it at Broadway. It’s pretty obvious for me that you like him, don’t you?”</p><p>“I don’t know…”<br/>“You know. You loved being with him, he is funny, smart, just generally gets you, exactly what you usually look for in a guy.”</p><p>“Clyde is the same,” you try to argue, but you already know it’s a weak point.</p><p>“Yeah, but he clearly doesn’t get you as excited as Adam.”</p><p>Keeping your eyes locked on the table you chew on her words. Everything she said is completely true, yet you still don’t feel like you are convinced. Adam is so unlike anyone you’ve ever been with, your real problem is probably not being enough for him. The guy is six feet of talent, humor and sex. His previous relationships, judging from what you saw in the film, seemed to be pretty intense, you’re not sure you can give him what he really needs and you’d hate to be a disappointment.  </p><p>“Listen, just give him a chance. Try, at least. What’s the worst thing that could happen?”</p><p>She earns a look with that comment, because there are actually a lot of stuff that could happen, since you are working together. If it doesn’t turn out too well, you are stuck in the same play, falling in love every night on the stage. That’s pretty bad to be honest.</p><p>“Okay, I get your point, but I still think you should at least give him a chance,” she explains reaching for the rest of her food. “I think he is worth a try.”</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. True love's kiss</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It's finally time to rehearse the kissing scene and being kissed by Adam has a huge effect on you for sure!</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>yooo so sorry for taking so long to update, i've been stuck on this part for so long but managed to finally finish it, hope yall will like it!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Hey!”</p><p>Adam’s voice makes you jump and turning around you are met with his grinning face. He seems to be in a good mood, but that’s kind of the usual for him.</p><p>“Hi,” you breathe out with a faint smile before turning back to the notice board, but you have no idea what you were reading before he appeared.</p><p>“What’s up? How you feeling?”</p><p>“Um, nothing much. A little tired.”</p><p>You thank God he can’t read your mind, because now you are thinking how you lied in bed all night, staring at the ceiling, thinking about him. In all kinds of ways… Especially because today you are rehearsing the kissing scene, meaning that you’ll have to kiss him over and over again when you haven’t even gotten yourself over the first one yet.</p><p>“You want a coffee? I can get you one, I don’t need as much time getting dressed as you.”</p><p>“No, but thank you.”</p><p>You give up staring at the notice board and head to the elevators, Adam walking right beside you.</p><p>“So, how are things with Clyde?”</p><p>“Adam…” you sigh as the elevator door slides open and you walk in. “Clyde and I are just friends.”</p><p>“Mhm, alright. Then let’s talk about us.”</p><p>Shit, now you are trapped with him in the elevator. Staring at the numbers changing you wish it was going faster, because Adam’s eyes are basically burning a hole into you.</p><p>“What about us?” you innocently ask.</p><p>“We didn’t get to finish our conversation the other day.”</p><p>“I didn’t even want to start it,” you hiss with a frown.</p><p>“Why are you being so ignorant?” he asks with a chuckle. You don’t like how easy he is taking it, like it’s not that big of a deal.</p><p>“I’m not ignorant, Adam. I just…”</p><p>“You are just afraid of the truth.”</p><p>“The truth?” you ask raising your eyebrows at him. The elevator door opens and you step out, but Adam gets in front of you stopping you in the hallway.</p><p>“The truth is that we get along pretty well and I can tell you like me, you are attracted to me and the same goes for me too. I just don’t get what scares you so much.”</p><p>“I’m not scared!” you state, but the moment you let the words roll off your tongue you know it’s one big fat lie. You are scared, you’re just not sure what it really is that scares the shit out of you.</p><p>Adam gives you the “bullshit” look and you just roll your eyes at him.</p><p>“Lying to yourself is not too healthy, Y/N.”</p><p>“What are you now, a doctor?”</p><p>“Dr. Adam Sackler, it has a nice ring to it,” he nods with a satisfied grin.</p><p>“Okay, this conversation is over,” you growl and walking past him you are determined to finally reach your dressing room, but Adam catches up with you before you could reach your destination.</p><p>“Just give me one chance. Just one!” He stands between you and the door, his massive body blocking the way completely. “One date and if you really still feel like it’s better to just stay friends or co-workers or whatever, I’m fine with that.”</p><p>“One date is not enough for anything.”</p><p>“In your opinion. But if you ask me, it can do a lot,” he smirks proudly and now you are interested in what he has in his mind.</p><p>“Just one?”</p><p>“Yeah. One date.”</p><p>“I’ll think about it,” you say and pushing him to the side you head inside.</p><p>“When can I expect an answer?”</p><p>“When I have one!” you say and then snap the door closed.</p><p>Half an hour later you finally have your glorious dress on for the ball scene and you just can’t get enough of it. It really makes you feel like a princess. Like Giselle. You make your way to the stage where most people are already there, ready for the rehearsal to start.</p><p>“Oh my God! You look gorgeous!” Ana, aka Queen Narissa cheers when she spots you, although her costume is just as magical as yours. Misha really nailed it with the costume department.</p><p>“Thank you,” you blush giving her a quick hug.</p><p>“Wow, Y/N!” Clyde walks up to you, seemingly just as satisfied with your dress as everyone else, while he is rocking his Prince Edward costume.</p><p>A little compliment circle forms around you that ends when Trevor orders the start of rehearsal and everyone gets into position. Adam is standing at the front of the stage where you have to join him and he has his eyes fixed on you as you approach him.</p><p>“You look beautiful,” he shyly compliments and you find it cute how this tall, massive guy smiles like a little boy.</p><p>“Thanks,” you smile back at him before taking your place.</p><p>Through the whole scene you try not to stress about the kiss that is about to happen, even forget about it. Trevor stops and makes you repeat a lot of parts so it takes quite some time to get to the final, kissing part.</p><p>Right before the critical part you are basically just lying on a sofa as everyone else is carrying the dialogue and you use your time to take a good look at both men standing next to you.</p><p>Clyde is not too much shorter than Adam and he is clearly a ladies’ favorite. Thinking back at the time you’ve spent with him you honestly don’t understand why you don’t think about him in a romantic way. Clearly, you are not opposed against the fact that you have to kiss him as well during the scene, but it doesn’t fill you with the same kind of… excitement that you feel about having Adam’s lips on yours again.</p><p>Oh, Adam. You push down a sigh as your eyes travel over to him standing tall in his nice suit and that ridiculously good-looking hair of his makes you want to run your fingers through it. This man has been making you lose your mind since day one. You remember the moment he walked into the room on the day of the table read so clearly and the charisma he had. Your attraction towards Adam is truly scaring you, but you just can’t figure out what it really is that makes you so frightened to give in to your feelings.</p><p>Is it the stuff you’ve learned about his past? That film clearly didn’t have the best impression on you, but Lora is right. This is not nearly bad enough to be a fatal reason not to give him a chance. In fact, you’ve been extremely curious about what it’s really like to be with him. You are ashamed to admit you even thought about getting spanked by him and it didn’t freak you out entirely.</p><p>Is it the fact that he is your co-worker? But Adam was right, this is not an office with strict rules, it’s Broadway, the place is filled with artists and they are nothing like others, romance is not an issue as long as it doesn’t stand in the way of working. Though it surely is an issue, because if things don’t turn out good, it’s going to be awkward having to work together while the show is running.</p><p>But that’s just one thing. What else is keeping you away from letting him barge into your life? Staring up at him he catches you looking while Clyde is saying his own lines and a small smile appears on his lips, it’s almost invisible, but you can tell it’s there from his eyes. It makes your heart skip a beat and you almost gasp as realization sets in.</p><p>You haven’t felt this attracted to anyone in a long time, if not ever in your life and that’s what scares you the most. Because what if he doesn’t feel the same way? What if he rejects you when he really gets to know you? What if you are not enough for him after all? There are so many things that scare you and you don’t know if you are willing to take the chance and find out if any of it is real.</p><p>“True love’s kiss,” Adam says his line breaking eye contact.</p><p>“What?” Clyde replies.</p><p>“It’s the most powerful thing in the world.” Adam looks back at you and you forget to breathe from his stare.</p><p>“Yes, yes of course!” Clyde kneels next to you and as the music intensifies he leans down and kisses you.</p><p>His lips are soft and the kiss is rather short and shy, but you definitely don’t feel like it moves anything inside you at all. Then he kisses you two more times, according to the script he is trying really hard to bring you back to life, but you don’t react.</p><p>“It’s not working!” he exclaims.</p><p>“You’ll never save her now!” Ana lets out a wicked laugh. “When the clock strikes twelve, she’ll be dead!”</p><p>“Unless…” Clyde turns to Adam who is pretending to be confused about the happenings.</p><p>“It’s not possible,” he shakes his head. “It couldn’t be me.”<br/>“It has to be!”</p><p>“Just kiss her, Robert!” comes the order from Clara who plays Nancy. “It’s okay.”</p><p><em>It’s not okay</em>, you tell yourself as you remain still on the sofa, waiting for it to happen.</p><p>Adam slowly kneels next to you and reaching up he softly caresses your cheek.</p><p>“Please, don’t leave me…” he begs before his hand slides to the base of your neck and leaning down he presses his lips to yours.</p><p>It’s like real life magic, you forget about rehearsal and all the people around you when his lips touch yours. It’s nowhere near as innocent and short as Clyde’s kiss was, there’s so much more passion and you can’t help yourself from kissing him back. It feels impossible for you not to kiss him back and for a moment you are afraid Trevor will stop you, but you hear nothing, just the beating of your own heart up in your head from the excitement of kissing Adam again.</p><p>Pulling away you cup his face in one hand and it feels like time has stopped on the stage. Everyone is watching you, but all you see is Adam’s eyes burning down on you.</p><p>“I knew it was you,” you say your line as the music starts again, people are clapping and pulling him down you kiss him again.</p><p>The only reason you don’t feel bad about being so passionate in the kiss is that Adam goes just as hard as you. It’s not as intense as the first time you two kissed, but the surroundings and everything behind it makes it just as unforgettable as the first one.</p><p>It makes you realize that no matter how scary it feels to give Adam a chance, you know you’d be making a mistake if you said no to his date offer. You can’t just shut him out completely and you know you shouldn’t.</p><p>So when you pull back and wrap your arms around his neck, just as Trevor told you to do so, you whisper into his ear so only he can hear you: “I’ll go on a date with you.”</p><p>You feel his body stiffen for a moment and when you let go and you look into his eyes they are shining bright.</p><p>Trevor makes you redo the scene five more times, that means that you get to kiss Adam ten more times and you shamelessly enjoy every one of them. You feel like you can’t get enough of his soft, plump lips and he seems just as eager to savor your lips as you.</p><p>By the end of the rehearsal you feel dizzy and you realize you haven’t been kissed this many times in such a short period by more than one person, this is definitely a record.</p><p>“Great work, everybody. See you all tomorrow!” Trevor ends the rehearsal and the gang quickly starts to dissolve.</p><p>As you head off the stage Adam catches up with you, offering you a hand since you struggle to make your way out in the long dress and high heels.</p><p>“You meant that?” he asks, a child-like excitement filling his tone. You can’t help but smile to yourself.</p><p>“I did.”</p><p>“You won’t regret, I promise!” he cheers and you just chuckle at his enthusiasm.</p><p>“I better not,” you warn him jokingly before you part your ways and both head into your own dressing rooms.</p><p> </p><p>Adam is a smart guy. He takes advantage of the fact that the two of you didn’t lay out anything specific regarding the date so he definitely tries his best to bring the most out of this one occasion you agreed to.</p><p>Nine in the morning on your day off, you hear the knock on the door and you suddenly feel more nervous than ever in your life even though you know exactly who is standing on the other side.</p><p>“Good morning,” he greets you with a satisfied grin as you open the door. He stands tall on your doormat, dressed casually in a pair of dark jeans and a black t-shirt.</p><p>“Morning,” you smile shyly, inviting him inside.</p><p>“You haven’t eaten, right?”</p><p>“No, just had some juice.”</p><p>“Alright, good. Are you coming in this?” he asks taking a look at your oversized hoodie and cotton shorts.</p><p>“You don’t like it?” you ask jokingly striking a pose and he shakes his head chuckling.</p><p>“I do, actually. It gives a nice view of your legs.”</p><p>“I still have to change, I just wanted to wait for you and ask what I should be wearing for the day. You didn’t tell me anything about your plans.”</p><p>“Just… wear whatever you want. Something comfortable.”</p><p>“Alright. Want something to drink maybe while I get changed?”</p><p>“No thanks. Can I look around?” he politely asks and you nod your head before heading into your bedroom to change.</p><p>Adam curiously walks around you small, but cozy apartment, eyeing every small detail, using his chance to dig into your very personal life finally. While he is snooping around you put on a pair of light washed mom jeans and tug a simple white turtleneck into it, finishing the fit off with a pair of comfortable sneakers and you hope it’ll be suitable for the day. When you walk out of your room you find Adam at the little corkboard that’s filled with pictures and memories, he is examining a picture that was taken on your graduation day.</p><p>“You looked cute with shorter hair,” he smiles as you join him at the board.</p><p>“Thanks. I impulsively cut it a month before graduation.”</p><p>“Did you cry?”</p><p>“While cutting it? No. It’s just hair,” you shrug.</p><p>“Exactly! That’s what I always say! People get so freaked out when they cut it, but it grows back.”</p><p>“In most cases,” you smirk. “I’m ready to leave, by the way.”</p><p>“Great. You look nice, let’s head out.”</p><p>First stop is breakfast. Adam takes you to a small bakery that’s not even that far from your place, but you never even heard of it. Unfortunately. Because their croissant must be made by angels and the coffee is just exceptional.</p><p>“Oh shit, I could eat ten more of this,” you sigh in satisfaction and Adam chuckles looking at you over his coffee.</p><p>“You want another one?”</p><p>“No, I already had three, my stomach wouldn’t take it.”</p><p>“They do delivery as well,” he smirks and your eyes go wide at the information.</p><p>“Thanks, now I’m gonna spend all my money on croissants!”</p><p>Adam shakes his head at you laughing as he finishes his own breakfast up and as you get ready to leave he walks up to the counter, discussing something with the cashier. You curiously eyes him when he returns.</p><p>“I ordered three for you for tomorrow morning,” he smiles at you shyly.</p><p>“You shouldn’t have! How am I gonna fit in my dresses?!” you gasp in a joking manner.</p><p>“You’ll be fine,” he smirks before leading you out the door.</p><p>You couldn’t figure out what his plans would be for a day long date, but when he finally fills you in, you’re amazed by the creativity.</p><p>“We are gonna be checking out the most luxurious places of Manhattan, pretending like we want to buy them,” he finally tells you when you are on the subway.</p><p>“What?” you ask with an amused chuckle.</p><p>“There are some pretty impressive homes on sale, we’ll pretend to be a rich couple,” he smirks, clearly proud of the idea.</p><p>It’s not everyday you set your foot in the Upper East Side, it’s clearly not your part of the city, but you would be lying if you said you have never dreamed about having a home here. You’ll probably never have enough money to own a place here, but when Adam takes your hand upon arriving to the first location and the real estate agent invites the two of you inside with a warm, welcoming smile, you feel like it’s reality for a little while.</p><p>The homes you check out in the next couple of hours are all so unique and luxurious on a level you probably can’t imagine by yourself. Everything is so spotless and perfect, it’s almost as if they are not even meant to be homes, but museums. Every place is different and interesting in different ways. One has an indoor pool, the other one has the most amazing view from the spacious living room and a third one has a wardrobe any woman would die to own.</p><p>You find it entertaining how Adam plays a character, pretending to be a wealthy man, willing to find the perfect home for him and his wife, who is happened to be you. Enjoying the game you play along with him and have an amazing time being Mrs. Sackler just for a little while. You can’t deny that every time he smiles at you or takes your hand or touches the small of your back makes you shiver and you are enjoying these little moments.</p><p>For lunch he takes you to a small Italian place and you let him order for you, trusting his taste enough to give him this choice and you he doesn’t disappoint. Once the heavenly pizza fills you up he suggests a walk in Central Park so the two of you go to explore this little bit of nature in the heart of the city.</p><p>There’s no awkward silence, not even once. He always has something to say and you find yourself talking a lot as well, feeling the urge to share your thoughts with him. The topics range from the silliest tiny things through some serious and deep conversations and Adam happens to be a great partner in all of them. He might be a goofball most of the time, but he can definitely get deep when he needs to be.</p><p>You share a lot about your past, struggles and happy times as well and you listen to him talk about his life before Broadway. As you keep on talking you soon leave the park and start walking around the city aimlessly, occasionally ending up in famous sights, pretending to be tourists. Time flies by faster than ever and you soon realize it has gotten dark. You get some sandwiches at a deli as an early dinner and heat back to your place as the date is slowly nearing its end. You can’t deny this has been your best date ever, both creativity and fun-wise. You can’t bring up one thing that you didn’t like, that’s something no one could reach before.</p><p>It’s past eight when you finally arrive back to your place, meaning that you’ve successfully spent almost 11 hours together, but it surely has been the best day you’ve had in a while, including the day when you found out you got the role.</p><p>“Was it awful?” Adam grins at you stopping in front of your building.</p><p>“Oh, so bad. I regret ever saying yes to this date,” you scoff making it over dramatic, but luckily he gets the hint and laughs at your answer.</p><p>“Alright, good. That’s what I was aiming for.”</p><p>“Clearly,” you smirk up at him.</p><p>Staring up at him you feel like your rationality is just out on vacation and your heart has taken over control. Because nothing that has kept you from Adam seems to be relevant as you look into his eyes.</p><p>“I uh…” he starts, looking like a nervous little boy. “I really want to kiss you, but I’m not gonna if you don’t want me to.”</p><p>“I want you to,” you answer without even thinking about it. You see his eyebrows twitch in surprise, but not wanting to miss the chance he just leans down and kisses you before you could change your mind.</p><p>Kissing Adam is the easiest thing in the world, it feels so right and you could do it everyday for the rest of your life. The height difference is just perfect, his hands fit on your body just right wherever he touches you and his lips… Oh those lips! You can never get enough of them.</p><p>You stand on the pavement for a long time, kissing like teenagers before Adam leans back, hands still on your waist.</p><p>“I-I should… get going,” he says, but his eyes say otherwise and you don’t want him to leave either. No, it wouldn’t be right if he just went home after such a perfect day.</p><p>“Or you could… come up.”</p><p>He stares at you for a few seconds, searching for any sign that would tell him that you don’t mean it, but there’s none. You really want him to come up and finally make all your fantasies come true.</p><p>Leaning down he kisses you softly one more time.</p><p>“After you,” he grins and you just chuckle at him taking his hand and pulling him after you into the building.</p><p>By the time you reach your bedroom neither of you have any clothes on…</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Time and space</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Testing the waters out...</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank you guys so much for all the nice comments, they all mean so much to me! sorry it's taking me so long to update, quarantine life is coming at me with a lot of struggles. i hope you'll like this new chapter!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A sleeping Adam in the morning is probably one of the most peaceful thing you’ve ever got the luck to see in this life. He is surely too big for your bed, but he still seems comfortable with his face buried in your yellow pillow, dark locks messily covering his forehead, an arm over your waist, legs tangled with yours. You feel like a creep watching him sleep, but you just can’t help. This is another side of him you never thought would ever get to see, but you’re not mad that he is here, in this state.</p><p>Your vintage floral printed wallpaper in the background creates just the perfect contrast in this amazing sight and you wish you could take a photo of him, but that would definitely be too much, it’s only your first time sleeping together.</p><p>“And you thought I was the weird one, but you are watching me sleep,” he mumbles in a groggy voice and you quickly close your eyes pretending like you are innocent, but when he opens his eyes he can see your growing smile clearly.</p><p>“I wasn’t!” you protest as he pulls you closer, but it’s a weak answer, you are busted.</p><p>“It’s alright, I know I’m the prettiest in the morning,” he jokes and you roll your eyes at him chuckling. Leaning over he kisses you soft and slow, something you didn’t really get to experience last night when you reached your bedroom. Not that you mind it.</p><p>His large hand wanders down on your naked back and you lace your fingers through his hair probably messing it up even more, but you couldn’t care less. You two are one big mess under the sheets and you love how he is basically hugging you all around.</p><p>“We have rehearsals in two hours,” you hum when he starts kissing your neck down to your collarbone.</p><p>“That’s plenty of time,” he mumbles, his hot breath hitting your skin.</p><p>“Not really,” you smile, but don’t do anything to stop him from furthering the situation. You are enjoying this too much to protest for real.</p><p>“How long does it take to get there from here?” he asks, lips still attached to your skin.</p><p>“About thirty minutes.”</p><p>“How much time do you need to get ready?”</p><p>“An hour?” it comes out as a question, thinking straight and clear is hard when his lips are exploring your chest while his hands have found their place on your backside.</p><p>“Mm, that leaves us with an extra thirty minutes,” he smirks lifting his head so you can see the satisfaction and pride on his face. “That’s enough for me to make you scream my name again.”</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>There’s this hidden excitement going to rehearsal after everything that’s happened last night, let alone in the morning. The anxiety and restlessness is long gone, you have no problem with being around Adam all day, kissing him on stage in the scene, and off the stage in a hidden corner during breaks. You’ve agreed to keep whatever is between you two as low-key as possible while you’re testing out the waters, and though you thought Adam wouldn’t like this suggestion, he completely agreed with it.</p><p>“I don’t want anyone or anything to fuck this up,” he told you when you two were on your way to rehearsal. “I’m fine with having it to just ourselves.”</p><p>Working with him without trying to keep your distance is so much easier and more fun and you are cursing yourself for making it so hard for so long. You really should have just given in to him way earlier. You’re seemingly carrying the day, nailing every scene and song and it doesn’t go unnoticed.</p><p>“Great job, Y/N. You’ve been doing amazing. Whatever got you in this mood, do it more often!” Trevor compliments in one of the breaks and you just blush nodding at him. If only he knew what it really was!</p><p>In the last hour you can feel Adam growing impatient, he seemingly had enough of the songs and dancing and he keeps giving you these intense stares, especially when he is sitting out during some scenes and he is definitely trying to push you out of your focus.</p><p>“Alright, great job everyone, thank you!” Trevor finally claps dismissing everyone and you see Adam’s fist flying into the air, you can’t help but chuckle.</p><p>“Want to come over tonight?” he asks following you around like a puppy as you gather your stuff and head to your dressing room to get changed from your dress.</p><p>“Why would I?” you ask teasingly. “We had one date, that doesn’t mean anything.”</p><p>“Okay, then take it as a second date,” he smirks.</p><p>“Will think about it,” you chuckle and the irony is that not so long ago you said almost the exact same thing when he begged for just one chance.</p><p>When you walk out of the room, all dressed and ready to leave Adam is already waiting for you in the hallway, the dude doesn’t waste time with changing for sure. You head back to your place together so you can change, pack some stuff for the night and go over to Adam’s. A tiny part of you expected to be annoyed by him by this time, being with him for two days straight without the smallest break could have been exhausting, but it’s kind of the opposite. It feels natural and not too much at all which is a pleasant surprise.</p><p>To be quite honest you easily fall into a habit with him. A few nights at your place, then a few at his, rehearsals together, some separate time you usually spend with Lora while he does is own little stuff, but you always end up together by the end of the day. You truly feel bad for keeping yourself in misery for so long before, you really don’t know what has gotten into you.</p><p>Reaching the final week of rehearsals is nerve-wrecking, but also the most exciting thing to happen to you. There are no new scenes, you are just practicing the whole show over and over again, making sure everything is perfectly in place.</p><p>“This looks weird but also hella amazing,” you chuckle looking up at the giant posters on the side of the building that are showing the people of the street you, Clyde and Adam in full costume, posing with smiles. You truly can’t believe it’s you up there and millions of people will see it in the next months.</p><p>“You look hot,” Adam comments and you smack his chest playfully before his arms curl around your waist, pulling you to his chest. “What? You do, I love the cleavage.”</p><p>“You surely do,” you hum turning to face him. “I see you staring every time I’m wearing that dress.”</p><p>“Can’t help it, you’re just too delicious,” he growls seductively into your ear before biting your earlobe, making you laugh.</p><p>“Stop!” you whine. “Come on, let’s have lunch before the interview.”</p><p>To promote the show you, Adam, Clyde and Clara are giving a radio interview talking about the whole project and try to make people see it after the premiere, even though tickets are already sold out for the first month. It’s your first time doing anything similar and you’re pretty stressed, afraid you might say something stupid on-air and that can’t be taken back for sure.</p><p>“It’s alright,” Adam whispers to you as they start counting back. You just smile back at him nervously.</p><p>It takes a couple of minutes for you to get used to the situation, but the hosts seem nice and genuinely interested in all of you and the show.</p><p>“Okay, so who was the hardest to work with?”</p><p>The four of you look around, but you all have a name on your mind.</p><p>“I’ll take this, pretty sure it’s me,” Adam holds his hands up earning a round of chuckles.</p><p>“Why is that?” the host asks.</p><p>“Because I can be childish.”</p><p>“He can’t be serious sometimes and we often ended up ruining a scene because he did something funny,” Clara recalls.</p><p>“But that’s one of the best things, isn’t it?”</p><p>“Yeah, it’s nice to loosen up sometimes,” you nod smirking at Adam.</p><p>“Alright, great. So according to the story you are all in this weird love square, right?”</p><p>“Yes, kind of,” you nod.</p><p>“I saw the posters this morning, you all look amazing, I feel like the chemistry is great between you guys, congrats on that.”</p><p>“Thank you,” you all mumble feeling proud.</p><p>“I’m really happy about it all, because I feel like a stunt people love pulling is to make it look like the leading couple is together in real life. That’s always so awkward!”</p><p>Everyone on the room starts chuckling in agreement, while your stomach drops to the floor, your blood pressure up in the sky. You were definitely not expecting this.</p><p>You hear Adam’s low chuckle next to you and then an arm curls around your shoulders, bringing you back from your shock.</p><p>“So awkward,” Adam adds and his eyes meet yours and it’s talking to you: <em>“Say something, don’t just sit and stare!”</em></p><p>You finally let out a nervous chuckle, trying your best to sound as natural and carefree as possible, but you can feel your mouth going dry. He literally said it would be pathetic if you and Adam were a couple when that’s exactly what you are, what does that mean now? You can’t be seen out together from now while the show runs? They will think you’re a liar if they find out you are actually a couple.</p><p>“Um yeah, we don’t do that,” you stutter, voice higher than the usual, a well-known sign of a lie, but luckily the hosts doesn’t realize it.</p><p>You completely fall apart after that comment, constantly afraid you might say something that gives away that you and Adam are together, even though you’re good at keeping it a secret, not even the cast knows.</p><p>Keeping quiet for most of the interview you just anxiously wait for it to end. When you are finally finished, saying goodbye to everyone you and Adam quickly leave.</p><p>“Oh fuck, this was horrible!” you whisper-yell even though you are out of the building already, no one really knows what you are talking about.</p><p>“Definitely wasn’t pleasant,” he scoffs and tries to take your hand, but you step back.</p><p>“We can’t be seen together.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Adam, we just denied that we are a couple, if someone sees us people are gonna call us liars!”</p><p>“Who would recognize us? We are not a celebrity couple.”</p><p>“Anyone! Someone could recognize us from the posters or something! We can’t risk it!”</p><p>“You are being paranoid, Y/N,” he sighs, but you feel like he is not taking it seriously.</p><p>“Oh really? Well, I think you should care more about this, because this can ruin both of our careers.</p><p>“I really don’t think this is the case. So what if they find out we are together? Who the fuck cares if they call us liars?”</p><p>“I do!” you snap, having enough of his ignorance. You can’t believe he is not as concerned as you are, because this situation definitely deserves all the worry. “This is my first big role, I can’t let anything go wrong! This is the big jump for me, don’t you get it? If I get called a liar, that might stuck forever and can easily turn me into bad publicity to any show in the future. How am I going to get casted after this show is over?”</p><p>“They cast for talent, not publicity, and you have the talent!”</p><p>“Are you really that stupid?” you ask wide-eyed. “Publicity is everything these days, and just because you don’t care about it, it’s still important.”</p><p>“Can you stop insulting me?”</p><p>“I’m just telling you the truth you are ignoring, Adam!”</p><p>“Okay, so what do you want to do?” he growls, clearly growing annoyed by this whole conversation. “We are already keeping it low-key, no one in the show knows, what else you can possibly want?”</p><p>You open your mouth but stop yourself before you could say what you intended to reply, however Adam knows you enough to figure out what you really wanted to say. You see his jaw clench as he stares down at you and for a moment he looks way bigger than he is, towering above you with his eyebrows furrowed, face contorting into a frown.</p><p>“Right. So instead of trying and fighting you choose the easy way.”</p><p>“I didn’t say anything.”<br/>“Yeah, but I think we both know what you are thinking about. You know, I really should have seen this coming.”</p><p>“Adam…” you breathe out, not wanting to start this fight now or ever to be honest.</p><p>“No, you really gave out all the hints, so I shouldn’t be surprised that you choose everything else over me. I do think you are being over the top with worrying so much about people finding out, we managed to hide it pretty well, but now you are willing to end it for literally nothing, because nothing changed. No one knows and you know what? Hiding sucks, I hate doing it, because I do want to act like a real couple in breaks at rehearsals, I do want to do romantic shit and tell people about us, but I gave it all up for you. But I guess I shouldn’t have, because you don’t want to put the smallest effort into this. Us.”</p><p>“Adam, I—“ Tears are dwelling in your eyes, his words are weighting down on your chest heavier than you’d want. You had no idea how much it bothered him and if you knew, you’d have done things different maybe. But it seems like it’s too late.</p><p>“I’ll give you what you want, okay? Maybe this was what you wanted all along.”</p><p>Turning around he tries to leave but you grab his hand and pull him back.</p><p>“Don’t go! This is not what I want!”</p><p>“But this is what I want now. My patience has limits too, Y/N. I need time and space to think.”</p><p>“What?” you whisper with wide eyes. “What does this mean?”</p><p>“This means that I need time and space!” he repeats slowly, like you’re retarded or something.</p><p>“You can’t just go like this!”</p><p>“Hah, watch me!”</p><p>He easily yanks his wrist out of your grip and starts marching down the street, quickly reaching the corner and disappearing from your eyes while you stand at the same spot completely frozen and shocked from what just happened.</p><p>You think about calling him several times that evening and you secretly hope he would turn up at your place, telling you he didn’t mean it and you talk it all out. The more time passes by, the more you think about how you regret the way you reacted. Adam was right, you overreacted the situation, but you still think he should have worried more about the consequences.</p><p>Adam doesn’t show up the next day to rehearsal, Trevor says he called in sick, which sends the director into complete panic, afraid he is gonna lose his male lead on the week of the premier. You just stand there in silence, on the verge of tears because you are more than sure he didn’t come because of you.</p><p>Petra reads his lines all day and you can’t stop from thinking about him all day, what he is doing, if he is thinking about you. Your regret grows by each passing minute and when you are done late in the afternoon you head to his place without even realizing where you are going. Arriving to his building you stop at the stairs, unable to take those few steps. What are you going to say? Why did you even come here?</p><p>So many questions you don’t know the answers to, but there is one thing you are sure in and that’s that you need to talk to him.</p><p>Dragging yourself up you stand at his door and knock on it with a shaky hand.</p><p>“What?!” you hear him snap from inside. “Ray, I fucking told you, I don—Fuck, it’s you,” he realizes flying the door open, looking down at you.</p><p>“Yeah. Can we please talk?” you shyly ask, afraid he is about to tell you to leave, but for your biggest surprise he holds the door open for you letting you in.</p><p>It’s a strange feeling to come here as truly just a guest and not for staying the night. Hesitantly stopping in the living room you turn to face him and he patiently waits for you to start talking.</p><p>“You didn’t come to rehearsal, Trevor was panicking.”</p><p>“Told him it’s nothing serious and that I’d be there tomorrow.”<br/>“Were you really sick?”</p><p>“Did you come here to ask about my sick leave?”</p><p>“Of course not,” you shake your head nervously. “I really want to talk about us, but you left so suddenly yesterday.”</p><p>“I told you I need time and space.”</p><p>“I get that, but I also feel like we have a lot to talk about.”</p><p>“Okay, then talk.” He folds his arms on his chest, staring down at you intensely and this is more nerve-wrecking than any casting you’ve been to.</p><p>“I didn’t mean to come off that selfish and I apologize for over-reacting it, but it’s a hard situation for me. I’m new to this whole world and it’s my career that’s on the line, I have to make the best decisions for the further development of my career, because I intend to do acting for a long time.”</p><p>You speak slowly and considerately, thinking through every word that leaves your mouth, avoiding the chance to say something wrong again, something you might regret.</p><p>“But I also see how hurtful it was all for you. I did not know how you felt about us not being public, why didn’t you tell me about it?”</p><p>“What was I supposed to say? It took me so long to get one date with you, I thought if I don’t do everything as you want, you’d bail. Apparently, I was right.”</p><p>“Adam, I’m sorry if this is how it seemed, but I did not bail,” you argue. “I was just worried, very afraid in the moment and I felt like you don’t take my point of view seriously. I’m not a free spirit like you, I don’t go through life without planning ahead and taking it day by day. I need the comfort of knowing that I will have my job a week from now, a month from now and so on. I need the planning.”</p><p>“Do you think I don’t plan? Because I do. I have plans and they include you. Or included you.”</p><p>You try not to break at his words, though it’s sickening to know how much his mindset has changed in such a short time, all because that stupid fight.</p><p>“Well, I’m planning with you. Present time. I’m sorry if I made you feel unwanted or that I don’t take us serious, but this is scary for me. I haven’t been this into someone for a long time, or maybe never, so I’m having a hard time dealing with my own feelings.”</p><p>You know exactly what you are about to say and for the first time in a long time you truly want to say it, because it’s the truth, you just don’t know if Adam wants to hear it or not.</p><p>“I know things were rough and now with this whole interview thing, it’s just gonna get tougher, but I don’t want to end it, I never wanted. I might have thought about it, yes, but it was just a quick thought that I immediately rejected, because I knew that wasn’t what I wanted. I know you’re mad at me and I totally get it, but I want to work on this, on us. With you. Because…” You take a deep breath before continuing and you just let it roll down your tongue. “Because I love you.”</p><p>Adam’s lips part slightly, he seems genuinely surprised to hear these words from you, but he remains silent, for your dismay. You were really hoping he would say it back and not just stand there and stare at you.</p><p>Taking it as a clue, you decide it’s better to leave and give him the time and space he asked for.</p><p>“Alright. I guess I’ll see you at rehearsal,” you mumble with a weak smile before walking out. You take the steps down as slow as possible, hoping Adam would come after you any moment, but his door remains closed and a tear rolls down your face as you head to the subway.</p>
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